Route 69 S303: Utica NY

Route 69: Utica NY

"Aw, Hart, are you kiddin’ me?"

"What's wrong, Jeff?"

"Dude, when you said you wanted to grab a drink, I didn't know you were hostin’ a show at this place. I thought we were just drinkin’. I even got a motel room next door so I can get good and ripped."

Hart goes, "It IS just drinks, buddy. I gotta guy coming to help me out. All I gotta do is watch the matches and pay the guys. It's great to see you again."

"Same here, dude."

Shit. I wouldn't have come 90-minutes to Utica if I'd known I'd be at a fuckin’ pro wrestlin’ show. I used to wrestle, but I'm done with this crap. Bein’ around it makes me a little ... I don't know. It just makes me something not right. Since I quit, I haven't wrestled even once. Not even in private. I've been workin’ construction over in Albany and sleepin’on this guy's couch.

I shouldn't be an asshole ‘bout this. It's Hart. He's like one of the best guys I know. We met in the pro wrestlin’ business and dude helped me a lot when I was a teenager, tryin’ not to get killed. I just gotta suck it up and get over my hang-ups.

It's just that my best friend Ben's been on my ass ‘bout gettin’back in the business. He always was, but especially lately. Turns out, his ex, Dylan and this asshole Kyle plotted to get me out and they did it. Ben thought findin’that out would change my mind, but it's the opposite. Political bullshit is why I left and that's all that was. I feel bad that he dated an asshole, but I'm out and I'm stayin’ out. I don't blame Ben, of course, but I know he feels guilty.

Fuck it. See what pro wrestlin’ does? Gets me thinkin’‘bout stupid crap.

Anyway, things with me and Hart are cool for like ten minutes. Then, just when I'm done with my first drink, Hart's dude calls and cancels. He's screwed. I look away, but he starts in with the "Jeff, old buddy" crap.

Of course he needs some help behind the scenes and it's too late to get anyone else. Next thing I know, I'm holdin’ a clipboard and headin’to the back. Hart goes over the schedule of matches and shows me the changin’and warmup areas. They're actually a storage room and a banquet room, but whatever.

There's only one guy in the changin’ area. Name's Cooper. Small (5'7"/155-lbs), but kinda reminds me of me. If I was a midget. He's super-early for the matches, but he's young (20) and eager. I get it.

I head into the warmup area - basically some mats over carpets with foldin’ tables pushed against the walls. In there, there's one guy stretchin’ out. He's decked out in a ninja costume, mask and all. He has those cloth boots with the separate big toe I wonder how those work as wrestlin’boots. Dude talks all fake raspy, like the latest Batman guy. Dude's bigger (6'/200-lbs) than Cooper, but smaller than me (6'2"/220-lbs). He's got a good body from what I can see.

Don't ask me how, but like three seconds in, we're arguin’. He's bitchin’ ‘bout jobbin’ to Cooper. I'm like, "I don't give a shit, dude. Take it up with Hart." He doesn't like that, says some shit that pushes my buttons - seriously, the guy couldn't piss me off faster if he tried.

A minute later, I'm tellin’ him that he's a poser with a loser gimmick. Next thing, he's throwin’ a right that sends me into a stack of foldin’chairs. CRASH!

I get up, strip off my shirt, shoes, socks and jeans. Ninja dude waits, arms folded while I go all the way down to my tighty whities. We're so on.

Jeff vs. Some Random Poser Dude with a Loser Ninja Gimmick

We circle, but ninja dude stops and bows. Seriously? What the heck? I shrug and bow back. The guy kicks his foot out, suckerin’me in like an idiot. He kicks me in the head. CRACK! Motherfucker, I have been away too long to fall for a bullshit move like that.

The kick spins me around and drops me to a knee. Dude comes in behind with two hard chops to my traps. THUD! I shake them off, but then he drops an elbow to my head. FUCK! Dude grabs me around the waist, lifts and drops me with a belly-to-back suplex. WHAM! I hold the back of my head and kick the mat. I can't stop ninja muscleman from firin’ chops and fists into my back. THUD! POW! THUD!

I roll over to get away, but he's on top of me with shots to my gut. WHACK! CHOP! POW! I push him off then get to my feet. Shit, I gotta get my head in the game. Ninja man just waits for me, standin’ with his arms folded. I charge at him, but he moves fast, grabbin’ my arms and spinnin’me around. I fall back into the wall, slammin’ my back against the panelin’. CRACK! Dude shoots out with a side kung fu kick into my abs. WHOMP!

I bend forward right into a spinnin’ kick to my head. Damn, I'm seein’stars now. I grab the wall for support. Ninja muscledude kicks me in the back, slammin’me against the wall. THUD! He moves in with fast, short punches, breakin’down my back. WHACK! THUD! POW! I drop to my knees and dude locks on a nerve pinch to my shoulders. I grunt as I kneel there, ninja man pushin’down with the pinch.

I try to hold on as pain shoots down my arms. Nerve holds are just like claws and I know claws. I focus and move one leg, plantin’a foot. I push up with a burst, topplin’ us down. I land on ninja guy, my 220-lbs of muscle crushin’ him. The nerve hold goes away. I spin around and fire into his abs with punches of my own. THUD! THUD! THUD! Dude grunts then lifts up, drivin’ his knuckles into my left pec. POW!

It doesn't hurt, but it gives ninja dude the chance to bring his foot up. He kicks me backwards and gets to his feet. We face off and I'm feelin’better. Wrestling's like ridin’ a bike. I just gotta go more on instinct and trust my body. Dude kicks out, but I'm ready for that. I catch his foot. Too bad for me, he's ready for me bein’ ready. The ninja muscleman launches up, swingin’ his other foot around and clippin’ my head. WHACK!

We fall to the mat. I'm kinda dizzy, so dude's got the advantage. Ninja comes in with a double axe handle to my back, droppin’me to the mat. UNGH! The musclestud climbs on my back, sittin’facin’my legs. He grabs the back of my legs, lockin’ on a nerve claw on my hamstrings. FUCK! I kick and go crazy, but he holds on. I plant my hands and flip us. Dude falls to the side and I roll away.

I get up and stretch out my legs. Fuckin’ prick is really doin’a number on me. He's a cocky son of a bitch, too. He just stands there, watchin’me with his arms folded again. We circle and I move in for a lockup. Ninja man grabs my arm and flips me over with a judo toss. I fly over and land on my hip. WHAM! Dude grabs my arm and twists. He slaps on another nerve claw, tearin’at my shoulder. ARGH!

Okay, I'm pissed now. Dude likes claws so much? I whip around and grab his masked face. I tighten my Kaine Klaw, named after Derek Kaine, the master of this fuckin’ move and the guy who taught it to me personally. Ninja dude wasn't ready for that shit. He lets go of my arm and moans in pain. I drive him down to the mat, kneelin’ over him.

Ninja muscleman is really fightin’ it. He fires his fists up and slams them into my pecs. It distracts me and he escapes. What the fuck am I thinkin’? Even my claw is outta whack.

Ninja dude is rollin’ away. I jump on his back and pin him down. I slam fists into his back. He grunts under me, squirmin’hard. I got him under control, tellin’ him to stop fightin’. He doesn't wanna listen, gettin’ up and tossin’ me off his back. He dives at me, right into my legs. I get him in a tight scissors, crushin’his masked head. Damn, I wish I could see dude's face goin’red right now.

I keep the scissors tight, askin’ if he wants to quit. He doesn't, so I squeeze even harder. Ninja man goes limp under my leg power. He tries to pull his head free then beats on my legs. When he slaps on another nerve pinch on my hamstring, I let go. I don't need that shit. Ninja muscledude is slow to rise, so I grab him by the mask and drag him up.

Ninja dude fires out a fist at my abs, but this time, I see it comin’a mile away. I block it and the asshole's follow up sneaky fist. Can't keep foolin’me forever. I scoop him up then slam him down with a body slam. Dude grunts and tries to roll away, but I'm gettin’ back in the zone. I grab him by his tights and haul him up into a reverse bearhug. He moans and grunts, feelin’my power. Feels good to use my muscles like this, especially hearin’dude grunt like this.

Dude fights against me real hard, so I flip him down onto his front. I come down on top of him, but he rolls us over. We grapple around then end up sittin’across from each other. We're both breathin’ hard and starin’each other down. I got a big smile on my face as I check if he wants to keep goin’. He just nods. Okay, whatever. I'm havin’ fun now.

The ninja muscleman tries a kick to my thigh, but I grab his foot. When he tries the same surprise move as before, it ain't a surprise. I duck and he flies over me, landin’ on his chest and face. I still got his one leg, so I push it forward and bend him like a pretzel. I grab his other leg, lift it and then wedge it under my other armpit.

I fold him in half and he's moanin’. Dude's lookin’ desperate, reachin’for my ankles. I reach down and grab his wrists. I hear him go, "FUCK!" Yeah, he knows what's comin’. I lift him up into a teardrop. The ninja muscleman hangs down. He's really groanin’ when I swing him back and forth. I got 200-lbs of ninja muscle danglin’ between my legs and it's hot as hell.

Fuck, I ain't fucked a dude for months, either. I'm seein’his tight ass and I want it bad. I forgot how hot this was. Maybe Ben was right. I could just wrestle in indie feds and in private. I could forget the rest of the political shit.

I drop ninja man, 'cause holdin’ up that much weight is work. I stand up and wipe my forehead. Damn, I'm outta wrestlin’ shape. My body's mostly the same, but the gym doesn't prep you for this. My cock's tentin’ my white briefs as I watch dude try to crawl away. I stomp him then kick him over onto his back.

The ninja musclestud can't do shit as I stomp him again. I move down and grab his ankles. He kicks to pull them free, but I don't let him. I fold his legs over mine then flip, puttin’ him in a sharpshooter. Damn, I like this move. Dude goes crazy under me. He won't give, which is kinda surprisin’, but fuckin’ hot. I love how tough this fucker is.

I drop the sharpshooter then drag him up. Ninja dude tries a punch to my abs, but it bounces off. I'm too wired for that now. I grab him by the throat and lift him in the air. I chokeslam him hard onto his back, plantin’him on the mat. WHAM! I keep my hand on his throat, chokin’him. Dude convulses under me, pain wrackin’ his body. Yeah, that muscle body flip floppin’while I choke him is sweet.

I let go of the choke then drag him up by the top of his mask. Dude fires out with a face claw. I stumble back into the wall. Fuck, this motherfucker knows his shit. It's almost as tough as the Kaine Klaw. I fire out and grab his face, lockin’ on my claw. We fight for control, both trapped in the claws. We crash around, not givin’ up on our claws. It takes a while, but I feel his hand weakenin’. I swing my arm and knock it away.

Now that I got him, I go, "Nice claw. Mine's better."

I squeeze and ninja muscledude drops to his knees. His arms are limp at his sides. Damn, his face is bulge height and my cock is hurtin’it's so hard. Shit, I gotta end this and pound one out.

I let up on the claw, tellin’ him, "Look, dude, this got way outta hand. It's been fun, but c'mon, you gotta wrestle soon."

Ninja man answers me by goin’ for a cock claw. Lucky for me, I see it comin’. I grab his wrist before he can clamp down then fire my other fist onto his head. CRACK! Now I'm fuckin’ pissed. I tried to give this asshole a chance. I grab his mask and shove his head between my legs. I think for a second ‘bout how to finish dude off, but he lifts up. WHOA! Dude flips me over his back. I land on my back and he sits on my face.

I push him off then get up fast. Dude kicks back with a donkey kick to my stomach. He moves fast, gettin’ up and slammin’ me into the wall. Dude slaps my pecs with hard chops. He grabs my left wrist and bends it back. Ninja muscledude pulls back, goin’ for a heart punch. HEE-YAH! I twist outta the way and his hand glances my armpit then hits the wall. SLAM! ARGH!

I'm gettin’ even fuckin’ hornier, ‘cause his asshole won't go down! I love wrestlin’. I splash his body into the wall, crushin’him. I rub my muscles on his then step back and pummel his body like it's a heavy bag. WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! Ninja dude falls into me, so I grab him in a headlock and flip him to the mat. I stomp him, gettin’ my fire goin’. Fuck, my cock's achin’ in my briefs.

I lock dude in a reverse bearhug, draggin’ him up. I lift and he braces against me. I'm practically supportin’ all his weight, dude's so weak. But ninja muscleman still won't fuckin’ quit. I switch to a rear naked choke, tellin’him he's got two choices - quit or go out.

Dude chooses to go out. I don't know if dude thinks I'm bluffin’, but I ain't.

I squeeze on the rear naked choke until dude's out cold. I don't like doin’ it, but dude didn't gimme a choice. Stupid fuck. Fuck, now all I can think ‘bout is my cock. Fightin’ this dude made me realize how much I love wrestlin’. Shit, ninja dude does have a nice ass. I wonder what his deal is, but I don't get to wake him up and see if I can fuck him, ‘cause I hear an angry voice behind me.

"What the fuck have you done now, Case?"

Hart Calls in a Favor

Shit, it's Hart. I grab my clothes and hold them over my junk to hide my hard on. I tell Hart what went down, but all he cares ‘bout is he's down a guy in the first match of the night. He grabs my arm and pulls me into manager's office, tellin’ me to wait. Next thing I know, he's back, handin’ me a pair of black bike shorts and boots, tellin’me that if they don't fit, tough shit.

I go, "Whoa, man! No way!"

Hart ain't lettin’ me off. I argue hard, but he doesn't give a shit. I tell him I can wake ninja dude, but he says no way. Too big a risk. Ninja dude won't be in any shape to go, so I owe him. I tell him that I don't wanna go back in the ring, but Hart says I shoulda thought of that before I knocked out one of his guys. Hart leaves, givin’ me a chance to drop my clothes. I look at the gear. Damn, might be nice to get back in the ring.

Naw, I'm not gonna do it. Not now, anyway. I'll think ‘bout it in the future. I look down and my dick thinks I should wrestle tonight. It's still fuckin’ hard as a fuckin’ rock. Fuck you, cock. Fuckin’traitor.

I hear Hart comin’ back, so I panic. I grab the black trunks to cover my bulge. He's with Cooper, bringin’ him over from the changin’room. Oh yeah, ninja dude's opponent. Nice guy. Coop tells his story and it hits me hard. He was supposed to win for the first time and his friends are all there. I remember when that was me. Little dude gives me a huge fuckin’sob story.

Aw fuck.

Okay, I'm wrestlin’ again. I'll be Cooper's heel. I look at the shorts and boots. The shorts gotta barbed wire pattern around the bottom. Okay, I guess it's kinda cool. They'll probably fit pretty good. The boots are broken in and pretty close to the right size. Hart leaves the office, sayin’he's got more shit to deal with, followed by Coop. I strip down my briefs, glad I don't hafta explain my dick.

When I'm naked, the door opens. It's Coop. I turn my back to him, askin’what he wants. Dude says we gotta talk out our moves. Yeah, I'm the heel, but he's gonna win. We gotta figure out how. He tells me what moves he knows and what he thinks he can do. I'm bigger than ninja dude and Coop's nervous ‘bout if he can lift me.

I pretend to be sortin’ out the squarecuts, keepin’my bare ass facin’ Coop. Dude walks in behind me, grabs me around the waist and lifts me in a reverse bearhug, testin’ out my weight. Great, just what I don't fuckin’ need right now. He puts me down and moves back to the door.

When we're almost done with the moves, Coop's like, "Look, I'm getting that you don't want to wrestle. I'm sorry about that, but could you at least look at me? Trust me, I get that I owe you for doing this, but it's not making me feel good about the match."

I feel like crap. I turn around, holdin’ the balled up trunks over my hard-on. I go, "Naw, you don't owe me nothin’. I fucked up and knocked out your fuckin’ asshole opponent. And it's not that bad. I'm kinda excited."

Coop’s got a smirk, "Yeah, I can tell, big guy."

I know I gotta get the gear on and I can't do it with him lookin’at me. I can't keep sittin’ bare assed on the desk keepin’the shorts balled up over my junk. I just can't get my cock to cool it. I'm too fuckin’pumped. Coop turns around and I figure he's leavin’. Instead, the little guy locks the door then moves in close to me. "Just one or two more things to work out."

I try to get rid of him. I'm like, "Yeah, just tell me how you're gonna finish me off then - oh."

Coop slides his hand up my leg then under the balled up shorts. He puts his hand on my hard rod, "Finish you off. Hm. Out there in the ring? I'm gonna jump on your back and finish you off with a ... a ... long ... hard ... sleeper. That's my finisher. But feels like you need to be finished off back here first. You sure as hell can't wrestle in public with this monster, big guy."

Fuck, dude's hand feels good when he starts slidin’it. Damn. Wrestlin’ and fuckin’. I tell Coop that he doesn't hafta, but he tells me he wants to. He tells me that I'm the hottest fucker he's ever met and it's the least he can do. Dude gets down and gives me head right there in the office. I close my eyes and imagine it's ninja dude bein’my bitch. I know Coop's done this before, 'cause he's real good.

The smaller dude works my cock and balls, gettin’me to shoot real fast. I warn Coop, but he doesn't care. Dude swallows my whole fuckin’load, drainin’ me dry then cleans me up after. Coop runs his hands all over me, tellin’ me we gotta get used to touchin’ each other. Fuck, my cock powers up again.

Dude opens the drawers of the desk, luckily findin’condoms. Damn, everything's goin’ my way tonight. He feels me up, gettin’me good and hard then slides one on me. Next thing I know, he's climbin’on the desk and sittin’ on my rod. Oh fuck, dude works his way down, holdin’my shoulders. His man pussy feels awesome. Coop's done this before, too. He takes my whole cock, sittin’ all the way down.

Coop starts bouncin’, usin’ my cock to fuck the shit outta his tight hole. He's talkin’ dirty, tellin’ me how great my huge cock feels inside him. Coop rides me hard, but I last longer this time. I get him off me then sit his ass on the desk. Coop sucks my nipples before he lies back on the desk and lifts his legs.

I grab his ankles and fuck him like there's no tomorrow. Dude loves it, beggin’ for more. For a smaller guy, he's got a huge, thick cock. He starts workin’ it, tellin’ me what a stud I am. He groans and looks for something. Dude grabs the towel he brought with him and wraps his dick. Coop shakes, moans then shoots his load into it.

I tell him I need the towel, ‘cause I'm cummin’. I slide out, but instead of the towel, Coop moves in front of me and puts his lips around my cock. He swallows another load, suckin’ me dry. I stumble back against the door as he plays with my drained balls. Oh shit, that's crazy. I tell him to stop, but he won't until he's got me dry. Finally, dude pulls off and stands up.

Just in time, too, ‘cause Hart's bangin’on the door, tellin’ us five minutes.

We let him know we'll be ready. Coop feels my soft cock. He goes, "Feeling better, big guy?" I nod. He smirks, "Think you can keep it down for 20 minutes?" I nod again, but I'm not 100% sure on that.

Damn, I gotta admit, I'm feelin’ good. This must be my night, ‘cause I'm lucky as fuck. Ninja dude was an asshole, but he got me back in the ring. And I'm lucky it's a guy as cool as Coop that I got paired with. Coop slides my shorts on for me, tuckin’ me down with a big smile. He kneels down, slidin’my boots on then lacin’ them up tight.

I look down and tell him, "Fuck, if I get through this, I'm gonna need another round. Wanna do a private match? I gotta room at the motel next door."

The little guy looks up and doesn't even hesitate, "You're on, big guy. Now let's go, ‘cause I gotta knock your ass out in front of dozens of drunks."

"Plus your friends."

"Actually, those are my friends." Cooper tweaks my nipple and we head out to start the show.

The First Lie

Coop and me have a great match for a local bar-type thing. It's a good crowd, I remember most of my shit and he's a real stud in the match. He takes all my heel shit and acts just right. Not too over-the-top, but still sellin’. I sell his sleeper, makin’ it last good and long before I go down for the count. I feel my dick twitchin’ a few times, but it stays down enough. The crowd goes crazy for every spot and he gets lots of cheers.

There was only one hitch. Durin’ my entrance, I noticed a guy in the crowd. Way in the back, hidden in the shadows. It looked just like my best friend Ben. Like he was there, watchin’ me. I got over the distraction fast, knowin’it couldn't be him. It doesn't affect the match, but it does stick with me. Did I see what I saw?

Anyway, when I get "woken up", I don't even go to the back, I just run out to the parkin’ lot. Folks walkin’by the bar look at me strange. It's late March, freezin’ cold and I'm standin’there in bike shorts and boots. I don't give a shit, not even feelin’the cold. I look around, but don't see it until I run around back. There, tucked in behind the dumpsters. A red, vintage 1958 Corvette convertible. Ain't too many of them around.

Ben's here.

Just then, I see Ben leavin’ through the back door, sneakin’towards it. I run up to him, grabbin’ his arm. Dude's surprised. We hug and I ask him what he's doin’ here. Ben ushers me back inside, worried I'll catch cold. Always lookin’ out for me. When we're in, I notice he's kinda nervous ‘bout something.

It's great to see him, but what's up? Since Ben just went through that nasty breakup with Dylan, that fuckin’ evil son of a bitch, I wonder if he's here ‘cause of that.

Ben's like, "Well? In a way, I suppose." I tell him to quit stallin’ and just tell me why he's here. "Okay. You know how we never lie to each other?" I nod. He goes, "I'm sorry, but I just lied to you. Big time."

I don't get it. Then he opens his bag and shows me the ninja costume. I'm like, "What? That was you? What's goin’ on?" Then I get it. "You tricked me. You picked a fight with me so Hart could get me back in the ring. I shoulda guessed with the fake voice and you knowin’the exact wrong shit to say to me."

Ben nods. Then it hits me, "Holy fuck! Did you set up this whole thing? Did you get Hart to stage this all for me? Like a whole wrestlin’show, just to pull this off?" Ben nods again. I'm like, "Was Coop in on it, too? Fuck, I knew it was too easy. It was like a fuckin’porn movie."

Ben goes, "Don't blame them. It was all me. Hart and Cooper went along, but it was all me. I just wanted you to get back in the ring so much, but you kept saying no. Even after I told you about Dylan and Kyle. I feel like I'm the reason you were forced out. Dylan used -"

"Dude, you know I don't blame you for what happened with ROW."

"I know, but I do. Jeff, you looked so good in the ring tonight. You loved it. I could tell. And you belong up there. I'm sorry for manipulating you, but I'm not sorry about the result."

I look at Ben like I'm real angry. He looks worried and I can't keep it up. I dive at him. He just stands there, ready for whatever I'm ‘bout to do. I give him a huge bearhug, pinnin’ his arms against his body. I lift him off the floor, tellin’ him, "Ben, you're the best, dude." My buddy relaxes. I go, "And this wasn't a lie. This was you doin’what you always do. Lookin’ out for me. You're the fuckin’best. Bro, I can't even fuckin’ believe the shit you musta gone through to pull this off."

Ben and me head to the back and he tells me everything on how he did it. When we get to the changin’ area, Cooper's still there. He's changed, holdin’ his bag. Little guy goes, "You mad or are we still on for that private match?" I tell him yeah, but I need a minute. He heads out to the bar area to wait, hopin’ nobody asks him for ID.

As soon as Coop leaves, I tell Ben, "Little con artist. Mess with me with some bullshit sob story. And I let him sleeper me out. Shit. I'm gonna beat on him then I'm gonna fuck his brains out."

Ben laughs. He's like, "Knowing Coop, he'll love every minute of it. So, should I get a room for the night and clear off the passenger seat? Are you back in?"

I don't even think twice. "Hell yeah, I'm back in."

The End