Review: Jonny Firestorm vs. Lane Hartley (BGEast)

For the second year in a row, my Cavey award-winner for Favorite Match also won the Best Overall Match award at the BESTIES. Not that I'm saying the Caveys are responsible. It's just a fact. However, some of my other choices didn't fare nearly as well. Like the match I'm reviewing today. I voted it first for Best Squash on my ballot, but it wasn't even nominated.

I do have a theory on this. Jonny Firestorm vs. Lane Hartley is one part of Custom Combat 2 from BGEast. It's intended to be watched as an interactive DVD where you're deciding the holds and order. So maybe other nominators didn't view it as comparable to more traditional options. Or maybe they chose wrong and didn't make a great squash.

Anyway, as you know, DVD's are not something I do, so I couldn't watch it when it came out almost a year ago. At some point, BGEast made the action available as a non-interactive VOD. That's what I'm reviewing, a linear and one-sided squash. Lucky for you, both Bard and Joe were referencing the DVD version (links at the end of this post). Maybe it'll give you some context on that experience.

Jonny gets on top in his Match with Lane.

The wrestlers are the big draw for me here, not the ability to program the match. I mean, Lane and Jonny are two of the best heels going at BGEast these days. They're trained pros, skilled at applying punishing holds and exceptional performers. However, they're also really different physically and personality-wise.

Lane Hartley is a classically handsome hunk. Square jaw, luscious hair, preppy style and thick, beautiful body. All wrapped up in sexy shiny silver. He's as dreamy as he usually is nasty. Yes, as Lane, he typically delights in methodically breaking down his opponents and he's very, very good at it. His calm, cool personality and good looks makes his sadism all the more entertaining.

Jonny Firestorm is a lot shorter, smaller and hairier. As a heel, I think he goes about his business differently from Lane, too. He's built a career on his sexy small guy swagger. I think Jonny is more creative, fast-paced and cruel than Lane. While the bigger stud treats destruction as his job, I'd say for Jonny it's his passion.

Who booked this mismatch? How could little
Jonny ever compete with a mega-heel like Lane?

Lane "wins" the initial test of strength,
but Jonny's two steps ahead of the big man.

Why, what's wrong, Lane? Oh, I see.

Heel vs. heel is usually very fun. There's something about bad boys squaring off that's both surprising and exciting. In this case, Lane mostly leaves his heel credentials in the locker room to do the job for Jonny. However, I can't suppress my knowledge that Lane is a big badass. It's who Lane is that makes this really, really hot for me. I always knew, "Fuck, Jonny's making Lane-freaking-Hartley his bitch!"

I think the second part is more of a squash in the opposite way. However, seeing Jonny punished by Lane is far less interesting to me than this. I've seen him in a jobber role before and I never really like seeing Jonny on the receiving end as much. Admittedly, I didn't VOD it, so maybe I'm wrong, but I think this is likely the better half for me.

Lane is Jonny's plaything.

Jonny shows off his toy.

Lane now knows how Kirk felt in their match.

Despite their size differences, Jonny gets a ton of hot offense here. From the initial side suplex, it's all about abuse. Jonny works Lane into holds that big men don't normally get into. He's smart about them and often adds that extra layer, like in the image below where he moves his boot onto Lane's bulge. Pure Firestorm magic.

Lane suffers amazingly well. He screams, moans and whimpers with the best of them, proving he's quite the multi-talented muscleman. I've seen him on the receiving end before, but never like this. Never for an entire match and never in these types of holds.

Jonny knows how to make any hold
extra painful (and humiliating).

If you want to see Lane like this ...

... apparently Jonny's the best man to do it.

In the end, I loved, loved, loved seeing Lane taken down by Jonny. There's just something awesome about a guy like Lane getting crushed by a guy like Jonny. It's hot and humiliating for the big hunk. I have no idea if I would've enjoyed it more by selecting the holds. I actually doubt it. In fact, such complex choices probably would've taken me out of the moment.

What are other bloggers saying?

SIDELINELAND: HOMOEROTIC WRESTLER OF THE MONTH (March 2017)

RINGSIDE: PICKING A FIGHT

So that's my take. What's yours?

Alex