Review: Garrett Thomas vs. Mighty Vinny (W4H)

Like a lot of people, my Twitter timeline has been filled with ordinary-looking objects that are actually cake. It is/was one of those momentary trends that both amuses and terrifies. I'll go on record and say that I don't think either of these guys are cake, but without slicing them open, there's no way to be sure. However, they're both pretty sweet and tasty looking. See how I brought that around?

Trying to show the boss up? Bad move, kid.

Garrett Thomas is a Wrestler4Hire staple at this point. The long-haired pro wrestler is lean and very, very ripped. In tight and tiny purple trunks with his cock pointing down, not much is left to the imagination. And against the diminutive Mighty Vinny, the bearded badass looks very tall. The tanned stud has a gruff and commanding voice, reinforcing his position as the boss of the ring.

Mighty Vinny is already in the ring to start the video (how fitting). Decked in white trunks, he's stretching out and showing off his beefy little body. The young indie pro is adorably thick with nice arms, and a stocky torso. Compared to Garrett, the pale young stud is a soft-bellied jobber. Personality-wise, Vinny is eager and confident (for the first two minutes before the wrestling starts).

The long-haired hunk is ripped.

With Vinny being on the smaller side,
Garrett really gets to show off.

Garrett needs to get in a workout,
because he's sure not getting one from Vinny.

Garrett Thomas vs. Mighty Vinny is a squash with a simple story. Garrett's actually pretty cool in the beginning, but unfortunately, that leads Vinny into getting cocky. It's like he thinks they're buddies or worse, equals. Big mistake. The long-haired hunk was cool with doe-eyed trainee Vinny, but he's not cool with cocky punk Vinny. And so, it's time to teach the beefy boy a brutal lesson in manners and respect. The boy is promises to do better but Garrett leaves him totally wrecked so he doesn't forget.

WITH AUTHORITY! BOOM!

Garrett: "I could hold this all day."

He who goes up, must come down. BOOM!

Action-wise, this is all about Garrett's offense and Vinny's selling. The beefy boy provides no resistance to his destruction, taking his punishment. He begs quickly, submitting and promising to do better. But we know old school guys like Garrett don't care when jobber boys say they're done. The "match" is only over when they say it's over. And that doesn't happen until after 20 minutes of pain.

Garrett unleashes a lot of power moves, taking advantage of the young punk's smaller stature. Big moves include body slams, varieties of suplexes, and even two, count 'em two, piledrivers. Of course there's also some body-breaking submission holds. And, big hits, punches and boots. Vinny's soft-bellied jobber aesthetic works well, giving it an extended Saturday morning wrestling feeling.

Remind me not to sign up for
Garrett Thomas' tour of the ring.

Gutwrench!

Just toying with the youngster.

In the end, this is a good squash. Mighty Vinny is an adorable (and deserving) victim. Garrett is a convincing taskmaster. I would've liked to see a little fight from the little guy, but that's not how these go. And it probably would've made things even worse for him, if such a thing is possible. Although that's maybe a selling point. Either way, squash fans definitely get what they pay for.

So that's my take. What's yours?

Alex