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Friday, July 22, 2016

Review: Captain America XXX (MEN.com)

WARNING! NSFW! THIS IS A REVIEW OF PORN, SO IT'S EVEN MORE "NOT SAFE FOR WORK" THAN MY USUAL STUFF!

The biggest superhero movie of the year at the box office was Captain America: Civil War. And I liked it. With that said, I am not a big Captain America fan. Yeah, he's a big blond stud in the comics, but I think he's boring. I also find nothing arousing about him being captured by Nazis, real world evil dudes or their direct analogs. In fact, it's just the opposite.

Even with Chris Evans playing him, I just have no fantasies about the guy. I say all this because it might influence my interest in this particular series. So far, this has been my least favorite, but it's not bad. I will give them credit for casting, locations and costumes. Three of the four parts offer a solid superhero setup then keep the guys character.

Captain America gets the XXX treatment

#1: This one is pretty much standard porn. Two guys meet in the hall then fuck in the hall. There's nothing about this that's really superhero or Captain America. Cap is versatile, but he ends as the bottom and covered in cum. Similar to the other series, the inspiration is definitely the films in terms of casting and attire.

Hallway encounter for Cap (on the right)

Cap on top

And on the bottom

#2: Now we're getting into it. Cap fights Black Panther then they fuck. The costumes are good and the quick cut action does give a feeling of a battle. Cap is out of his suit fast, but I'm happy that Panther stays in his tight, shiny, black costume the entire time. It helps give this a superhero vibe from it.

There's no kissing, due to T'Challa's mask, but the convenient zipper allows the action to go both ways. Once again, Cap winds up covered in cum, this time on his hairy chest.

Cap gets stripped fast

Avengers Assemble!

Meeee-ow!

Cap rides the Panther

#3: And this is likely the main event - it's Steve vs. Bucky. Other than Steve/Tony, this is the most shippable pairing from the movies because these two were buddies of the same age. Here, Cap battles Winter Soldier in another quick cut battle then realizes who he really is. Sex ensues. Cap only bottoms this time.

As a superhero genre video, Winter Soldier looks and sounds good, so that's a plus. Once again, the costumes vanish fast, but that's just the way this series goes. Interestingly (to me, at least), the guy who plays Bucky also plays Magneto and Random Victim #2 in their BvS. He sure gets around.

The battle

Cap back on his knees

Bucky goes to work

The heroes reconnect

#4: Cap runs into Nick Fury (of course modeled after movie Nick Fury, not original comic book Nick Fury). They talk. They kiss. Cap fucks the SHIELD boss. This is the only one where Cap isn't a bottom at any point and doesn't end up covered in cum.

Cap and Nick debate their issues

Looks like they both won the argument

Overall, these were a good attempt. Outside of the first one, which seems like a standard porn, this does deliver on the hero vs. hero theme of Civil War with three separate encounters with popular characters.

The costumes do come off too fast, especially since Cap lacks a distinguishing physical detail, like Cyclops visor or Wolverine's hair, for example. Fortunately, Black Panther keeps his suit on and there's Bucky's hair and Nick's eye patch to keep you in the superhero mindset.

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So, are you a Cap fan? Did you imagine any of these pairings? Tomorrow, I'm talking the final series featuring Tarzan, my favorite fantasy character. Does it deliver?

Alex

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