Friday, August 21, 2015

Casting The Cave: RHW Edition

I don't think The Cave would be a viable business. Based on the number of abandoned attempts to combine superheroes and wrestling, there probably isn't a market big enough to sustain it. People don't usually stop making successful series, so I can only assume they don't sell that well.

However, if The Cave ever came to life, I see it looking like Rock Hard Wrestling. I visualize The Cave's pro ring in a similar stark black environment. It's so clean and simple, which is my aesthetic. I'd want the same high quality camera and sound work. The site is singular-minded, much like The Cave. You know exactly what you're going to get with RHW.

And the guys are all pretty perfect for my imaginary world. They're young and they look like models, which is my main source of base images. I have featured slightly more variety, specifically in body type/hair with guys like Pete (The Cave 4 & 8) and Blake (Route 69: Harrisburg), in race/ethnicity with guys like Terrence (Route 69: Baltimore) and Abdi/Yusuf (Route 69: Dallas) and age with guys like Blake and John (Route 69: Fort Worth). However, most of my guys are young, ripped and great looking.

Writing this led me to think about that. What if I was casting The Cave world from the roster of RHW? If I think about casting my four main characters (Cody/Ryan/Ben/Jeff), I could do a lot worse than the guys from RHW. It'd have to be a combination of physical attributes and the essence of who the character is.

So here are my choices ...

Cody = Alex Waters. Cody is gorgeous, confident, slightly self-absorbed, which Alex could pull off in his sleep. Alex' heel-ness almost made me go with Z-Man, but I really think Alex is the better choice.

My first choice taking out my second choice
Ryan = Josh Steel. Both guys are big, powerful and can be laid-back with a mean streak. As with Cody, I went back and forth a little when I thought about Dash Decker, but I think he's too confident for Ryan. I'd never describe Dash as laid back, but Josh seems a little more chill at times.

Can you see this as Ryan punishing Cody?
Ben = Jake Jenkins. This is the only choice where there was no alternate. Like a male Meryl Streep, Jake is a chameleon. He's probably versatile enough to play anyone, but I picked him for Ben because he's smart, smaller and skilled. He switches up his character so much that I think he could be amazing as Ben, a guy who can have fun losing a loincloth match or will beat up a pro wrestler in a storage closet to avenge a friend.

Super-hot winning ...
or losing. 
Jeff = Dash Decker. With Jeff as a tough, down-to-earth, gorgeous fighter, I feel good about this choice. Austin Cooper was my first thought, but I really like Dash right now. I think he could be great as the pro wrestler who always gets into trouble and has to fight his way out of it. We haven't seen much of Dash's vulnerable side, but I especially enjoyed the few minutes he spent selling against Colt Stevens.

Dash can be vulnerable, too 
For leading supporting characters, I would pick Ethan Andrews as the diabolical Dylan. Do I even need to explain that one? With his expected upcoming match against Dash, I can imagine it as Dylan vs. Jeff. Although Jeff would win in my story, but I doubt Dash will win in RHW, so I'll have to use my imagination a little.

I can't figure out Jae. Since he's never narrated, I realize that I haven't developed a distinctive enough voice for him. He could really be any number of guys.

Anyway, if you slap some superhero gear on these RHW guys, I think you're pretty close to my vision.

So what do you think? Did you imagine things differently? Did I mess up the casting? Please weigh in with your own choices!



  1. Intresting topic i totally agree with Alex waters but then he is my favorite wrestler on RHW so that could be why i like him as the main guy haha. Though i do think dash and jake are spot on but i feel like id chose someone else for ryan and dylan though i can definitely see why you chose them.

    1. Thanks for the comment!

      It's okay to like the Alex choice because he's your favorite. It's probably a little self-aggrandizing of me to choose Alex and Jake for my author insert characters, Cody and Ben.

      On Ryan and Dylan, you could be right. They were the toughest choices. I'm als limited to the guys I've seen on video. I did think that Colt Stevens might make a good Dylan, but he's more goofy than scheming.

      Would I have been better with Dash as Ryan and Austin as Jeff?

      Alex R said he really likes Bruce Ballard, but he didn't mention if he'd be a good fit for any of the characters.

      Anyway, I think it's a fun topic and there's no right answer. I'm thinking of doing this with other feds/sites, so we'll see how I do with those.

    2. Alex R:

      Yeah. Im not sure really if he fits anyone as of now. He did good against two lower tiered guys but got really fucked up by Austin Cooper. So Im not sure there is a character yet that fulfills that area. He also likes to talk alot while he wrestles and admire himseld and his body. In one moment on the match against cooper he touches his nipples as in playing with himself LOL. He is arrogant yet playful. Interesting character.

  2. I you had to choose what would be the best match on this site? Never used that site but I might try it.

    1. Well, best match is hard to say. It depends what you like. The site is pretty consistent. My favorite wrestlers are Jake Jenkins, Alex Waters and Dash Decker. My RHW collection is pretty much all their matches, plus a couple of Ethan Andrews matches.

      Jake Jenkins: smaller, highly skilled, great at dishing it out and taking it (his high-pitched whimpers of pain are awesome). He wins and loses, but always fights well. He's short and ripped in the early matches, a little less defined in later matches. I like him in everything, but I'd say that his singles matches against Austin Cooper, Alex Waters and Josh Steel (King of the Ring) come to mind.

      Alex Waters: cocky, southern, gorgeous heel. Like an evil frat boy, he's a perfectly coifed sadist. Great at dishing out, not as great at taking it. He trash talks a lot, so he'll keep talking when he should be suffering. I seem to remember that he did a good job against Jake Jenkins, Z-Man and Dash Decker (King of the Ring).

      Dash Decker: uber-stud, big, muscular heel. Not a talker, but dominates most of the matches, usually. Alex Waters tested him and he suffers well. I liked his match against Colt Stevens, who was a mouthy wannabe model. Dash is pretty ruthless in that one, but he takes a little abuse and it's hot.

      I don't think you can go too wrong with the guys I mentioned above. If you don't like those matches, RHW might not be for you.

      LaSustanciaP ( ) has done some great RHW reviews with GIFs, so check them out, too.