8 Years

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Alt Version: Different Sentinel Ending

Guys,

Since I don't have a ton of content these days and many readers made it all the way through the Sentinel series (or maybe some of you read each chapter a hundred times), I thought I'd post the first ending to the Sentinel series I uploaded to the blog but changed before publishing.

As you can see from the chart below, Chapters 2-16 were very similar in terms of daily views in the first seven days (although Wednesday might be the worst day to post a story, since both Wednesday stories had the lowest first days). They're certainly within range of one another and generally followed the same path, with a couple of minor exceptions, like everyone's weird bump on Saturday January 14th. 

The point is, folks who stuck with it to Chapter 2 were likely to keep reading until Chapter 16.

Sentinel: Daily Views 1st Seven Days by Chapter/Date

This is not the "original" ending. I revised, edited, and changed the story so much that there really is no "original ending". This, however, actually made it to the blog posting queue. I uploaded it in October and it remained the official version for a good month before I suddenly had major anxiety about it and re-wrote it all one more time.

The differences are significant ... the villain is different (Master Mind not Chameleon), his powers are different (young bodybuilder with tech enhanced telepathy and no body-hopping), it wraps up with a slice of life experience for the three lead characters, and it hand waves the villain's momentary triumph away. 

When I wrote the first ending, it seemed fun. However, as I thought about it, this version felt unfinished. Neither Chameleon or Master Mind are really ever resolved and the heroic "win" was super-lazy. The only thing I regret changing is the final villain's powers. It complicated things and added a page of unnecessary explanation. I cannot remember why I even did it.

I still really like the character moments and might re-use the bar scene if I ever re-visit the characters. In hindsight, I could've kept it all and just written a final confrontation at the bar, with Adrian still saving the day and Sentinel's new bar friends (you'll see) even helping out in some way. But I didn't. It would be a fun first chapter if I bring them back to explain characters, personalities, and relationships. Act surprised if I ever do re-use it.

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Picking up from halfway through Chapter 15, changes are mostly in red, but I left in surrounding stuff for context, followed by Chapter 16 where everything is different ...

The Cave Shorts: Professor Maddox meets Xaq

Sito School of the Creative Arts. Los Angeles CA.

“Professor!” 

Ugh. I don’t even look up. “Please come back during office hours.”

“No. I need to talk to you now.”

Me, Professor Maddox

The Cave: The Road to El Paso 1 (Buck vs. Jorge)

PREVIOUSLY IN THE CAVE ...

• How Beau's story started ... Route 69 S105: El Paso TX (Beau meets Ben)
• 10 weeks ago ... The Cave Unleashed 7: Beau vs. Toby (Beau takes on his brother)
• 4-8 weeks ago ... The Cave Unleashed 8: Beau vs. Keith (Beau takes on his boss 3 times)
• 4 weeks ago ... The Cave Unleashed 10: Beau vs. 'Lethal' Lee Evans (Beau's drive to LA)
• 3 weeks ago ... The Cave Unleashed 11: Beau vs. Buck (Beau makes a new friend in LA)

TODAY: THE DUSTY INN. ARIZONA.

“EL PASO! How the fuck are you doing, big man?” 

Beau (aka El Paso around here) answers coolly, “Oh. Hey, Lee.”