Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Review: Guido vs. Chet (BGEast)

This video is an example of why I struggle to explain what I like. Often when I talk to other guys, they'll have very specific things they're into and not into. They can be so precise on body types, race, age, gear, moves, body hair, etc.

I'm just not wired like that. My tastes are varied and usually situational. I can hate something in principle, but then like it in context. I can think something is so hot, but then not like it when I see or do it.

In theory, BGEast's Fan Fantasy 3 should not appeal to me. And yet here I am left thinking about Homer Simpson saying, "Marge, I agree with you, in theory. In theory, communism works. In theory." So throw 'in theory' out the window, because I loved it.

Guido: "That right there is a sex god!"

Yes, I loved it. In spite of the two big strikes against it ... one for buying and the other for liking.

I normally wouldn't buy this. And the reason goes beyond the inconvenience of BGEast's horrible VOD system. I have a standing policy against buying rehashes of pairings that I already own. I feel like I'm paying twice. I guess that I made an exception here for two reasons. The studs in question are worth it and the match seemed like a different enough premise.

And I normally wouldn't like this. It's not a match or a wrestling video. This "encounter" has a lot of the nonsense I often complain about. It's actually less of a match than Marco vs. Wolf from Thunder's Arena, which I didn't like. And yet, it took me three viewings to get through it all the way.

So what happened?

Guido and Chet happened. Damn, they're awesome. The simple fact is that there is a charisma overload in the ring. For 30 minutes, I was captivated and thrilled. I didn't even realize how little action there is until I was writing this review.

Chet: "It's not supposed to be like this."

The premise is simple. Chet wants to learn from the master. He wants to be Guido's protege, becoming Dirty Daddy, Jr. He gets a lesson, but it's not the one he expected. He is dominated mentally, physically and sexually for 30 minutes. When Guido leaves at the end, Chet sums up my thoughts perfectly when he says, "What the fuck?" I was left just as confused by what I witnessed.

At this point, Guido Genatto is just an arbitrary name on the BGEast website. He is now Dirty Daddy everywhere, including here. The name is perfect and so damn provocative. He lives up to the promise of the moniker, delivering a dominating performance that screams dirty and daddy.

Guido: "Balls of steel. These balls are weapons!"

Dirty Daddy's bulge is the focus here, prominently on display and acting as the hairy heel's weapon of choice. When he references daddy's web, it's clearly referring to the sizable meat in his trunks. It's power and presence is unavoidable, as much as Chet wishes otherwise.

Guido: "Gag you fucking bitch!"

Guido: "Keep your eyes on the prize. You're in daddy's web now!"

Not to be ignored, Chet's trunks are tight and revealing, clearly outlining what he's got front and back. The solid color is perfect for this, leaving little to the imagination. It doesn't hurt that Daddy makes a point to deliver some fan service with long-held holds that show off the handsome hunk.

Guido: "You think you're so fucking cute, don't you?"

Guido: "Look at that package!"
Chet: "No! I'm not looking at your fucking package!"

Chet begs, pleads and tries to please, only to get smacked around and humiliated time and time again. The wannabe protege is confused throughout, unsure of what to do to please his dominator. He doesn't like much of it, but he goes along, trying to win praise from the uber-heel.

Chet: "Oh shit, your dick's right in my face1"
Guido: "It's right where it needs to be."

Chet: "You're humiliating me!"
Guido: "That's the point!"

There's no subtlety here. It's all out there in a bigger way than any other working pro vs. working pro encounter I can think of. This is like a domination porn video without nudity or sex. Lest you think this is me reading into the encounter or left to subtext, it's not. The quotes I've used are real quotes (although they may not be from that exact scene). But ultimately the scenes speak for themselves.

Guido: "Swivel those hips!"

Guido: "I'm gonna spread you open!"

Guido: "One more for the fucking road!"

So if you want a Guido match between two talented pros, this isn't it. You'd be better looking at matches against guys like Flash, Jonny Firestorm or Chet as Superman. If you want a squash, I don't think this is even it. Jake Jenkins is a better total squash.

And yet I still loved it and I'm still recommending it. Go figure.

Have you seen this? What did you think? If you haven't, do you want to? Remember, commenting is cool!



  1. I completely agree, Alex, though I think you might have understated it a bit with your comment that Chet is dominated mentally, physically and sexually for 30 minutes.
    I have seen both of these guys live, on tv, on other wrestling sites and I think it was just a case of a perfect storm coming together; that is, it was the right time, the right place (bgeast) the right wrestlers, the right gear, the right idea for a video, and 100 % commitment from both to sell that idea.

    1. Thanks for the comment. You are so right on the 100% commitment. These guys were all-in with the premise, which made it so special. I'm impressed with both of them.

      And thank you for giving BGEast credit. I probably should have given them more, too. They are the right company to do this.

  2. As I sit here, staring hypnotized at the final gif, I find myself solidly in the "haven't seen it but now I HAVE to" camp.

    1. Yeah, GIFs were a complex process when I did this, but this review was worth it.

      Fortunately, I think Jose at La Sustancia P has solved that for me by putting me onto a better GIF program called GIF Brewery from the Mac App Store.