Monday, March 20, 2017

Review: Biff Farrell vs. Charlie Evans (MDW)

I think this is the first Muscle Domination Wrestling video I've reviewed here. I'm an infrequent and cautious customer of theirs, only buying a few videos each year if they catch my fancy and I'm sure they're appropriate for my sensibilities. I usually leave it to Bard to cover their exploits, but I think this one went undiscussed. Maybe he didn't like it. I did, but maybe because it's something I've been asking for - Biff Farrell in a dominant role.

Big Biff in control of Charlie

So when I ask for something and fate hands it to me without any effort, talking about it is the least I can do. In this case, it's Biff Farrell vs. Charlie Evans. Both won Cavey Awards in 2016, Biff as Favorite Jobber and Charlie as co-star of Favorite Match of the Year.

Biff Farrell is one of those guys with a look that I just love. He's a freaking adorable fireplug, built short and wide, Biff's blond, bearded and beefy. The black and red trunks aren't his best look, looking oversized for him, but it's fine. He looks thicker in the waist, but still big and beautiful. It's a huge contrast to the lean, pale and ginger Charlie Evans in boxer briefs. Underwear never appeals to me as gear, but once again I'm looking past it.

I'll take Biff anyway I can get him, but it's
nice to see him in a more dominant role

Charlie's gear isn't my favorite, but he does
go with the flow and suffer well

This is a 100% squash. The taller Charlie does open the video with confidence, "All right, I think I can take you, maybe." Maybe not, sport. Charlie barely gets the words out before Biff is on him. The muscleman dominates every moment of this video, manhandling the lean ginger wrestler with his power advantage. Charlie moans, cries and submits repeatedly, essentially a practice dummy for the feisty fireplug.

There are multiple shoulder blocks

C'mon Biff, you can bend him more than that!

Biff walks all over his victim

There's no story and not much dialogue, so we don't know why they're wrestling, why Charlie thinks he can take Biff or why Biff just crushes him, forcing the lanky jobber to submit over and over. Maybe Charlie is aware that he has a better record than Biff at BGEast. Maybe Biff just finally feels free to unleash his power and Charlie is his unfortunate victim. We'll never know.

At about the 12-minute mark, Biff speaks for the first time. He declares, "You're wearing me out, boy." Uh huh. Charlie is wearing Biff out the way a barbell wears you out. The jobber dutifully suffers, moaning, crying and submitting. He gets thrown around and takes it all with pained expressions and verbalizations. When Biff asks, "How you doin', buddy?", Charlie doesn't answer, but the question seems rhetorical, anyway.

Even throwing around a lightweight can take a toll

Biff lifts Charlie a lot

It’s not a perfect video. The action does get repetitive, with multiple versions of the same moves. It’s a lot of bearhugs, shoulder blocks, scissors and armholds. However, I enjoyed the action all the same. The camera angles aren’t great and I've already mentioned the gear. However, for me, the pros of this video far outweigh any cons or randomness in the ending.

Wait, what? Random ending? What do I mean? Does Charlie flip the script?

No, it's nothing crazy. Biff wins definitively. It's just the last line, which comes out of nowhere …

Biff: "Looks like you're pretty destroyed, buddy. How about I take you out to my back room and have my way with you? Huh?"

And with that, Biff leads Charlie out of the ring. Apparently to a mysterious back room to have his way with him.

Say what? It's such a random line, right at the end. It's not bad and it doesn't impact my enjoyment of the video, but for some reason, I'm just completely fixated on it. Like I couldn’t figure it out and it stuck in my head.

It's partly Biff's tone. The way the hunky muscleman says it is so matter-of-fact. It's said like, "Let's go grab a beer", only with less feeling. Actually, "let's go grab a beer" would've fit the tone of the video better. Now look, if Biff said he was going to take me to any room and have his way with me, I'd go. I mean, why not? He's cute and hot. This, however, has to be the least sexy intimation of further stakes I've ever heard. There's no lust or passion or flirtation or dominance or any kind of emotion to it. None.

And it's also partly the fact that there's no suggestion during the match of anything more than a muscular beast dispassionately mauling a weaker, skinnier opponent. Certainly no suggestion of attraction or desire. The whole thing was played very straight (by any definition). Maybe 'have my way with you' means going to Burger King or something. Anyway, I don't know why I'm so perplexed by it, but I am. Maybe because it's the last thing you experience in the video. I had to type all this, just to get it out of my brain. Begone! Ah, much better.

Biff, I had no idea you felt this way

Big Biff finally gets his shot to use all that muscle
and he's not going to waste it

In the end, I'm very happy that someone gave Biff the chance to be strong and powerful. Action-wise, he makes a good dominator, but to be clear, he’s not really a heel. There’s a difference and his personality doesn't scream heel. Even as he thoroughly and cruelly destroys Charlie for 20 minutes, he still seems like a lovable lug, which suits me just fine.

So that's my take. What's yours?


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