Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Review: Mark Muscle vs. Viking (Thunders Arena)

No wonder Mr. Mike chastised me for suggesting Thunders Arena had downsized (in the comments, here). I've been very focused on smaller guys like Scrappy, Marco, Blayne and Bolt, but he knew Viking was in the pipeline. And just to prove the point, Thunders puts their new giant against another, Mark Muscle. Mark Muscle vs. Viking is a battle of the big men. Or is it?

Viking: "About time they brought someone my size."

Viking has built up quite a resume. I've only seen him wreck Scrappy, but he mentions Bolt and Z-Man, too. After my first viewing of him, he's one of my new favorite men in the world. He doesn't disappoint. Gorgeous. Tall. Arrogant. Entertaining. He talks in a natural way that is charming and intimidating. He has a mean streak, but I'd still have a beer with him.

Mark Muscle is a star these days. He's wrestled for quite a few places. As a massive muscleman, he was the Viking of his day (i.e., 2016), but has broadened his appeal by playing jobbers and superheroes. No matter the role, Mark Muscle is always a beast. He's nicely comfortable on the mats, no matter the role.

Viking: "I feel like your head's going
to pop between my legs, Mark."

Viking: "You thought you had me?"

This is almost a squash. Mark's last offensive move comes six minutes in then it's the Viking show, as big Mark gets bent, squeezed, lifted, knocked out, pinned and submitted over and over. Around 11 minutes in, Viking declares Mark done then psychs his ailing victim (and me) out by mauling the massive muscleman for another eight minutes. Like Viking, I expected more fight from Mark Muscle, but he's outwrestled and outclassed in every way.

And I really enjoyed it.

Viking is a cocky bastard. In a good way. I love when he counts another pin, "just because I can". Any time your opponent does something to you just because he can, you know it's not going well for you. Unfortunately for Mark, it doesn't take long before Viking is able to do anything he wants. And he does.

Viking: "Now you know your place, buddy."

Viking: "I expected a lot more from you."

Viking: "I thought you were going to be a challenge,
bud, but I guess I was wrong."

Here, the veteran puts the rookie over in classic wrestling tradition. Now, I've seen Mark lose before, but never overpowered by another muscleman. Maybe that exists, but I haven't seen it. Austin Cooper used low blows (reviewed here). Mountain used low blows and bulk (reviewed here). Will Favero used kryptonite (reviewed here). Plus, Mark's arrogance helped drive his undoing in all three. Viking uses only muscle and skill against a focused Mark Muscle, which makes this both the most unique and the hottest beatdown of the big man yet.

Yes, there is a repetitive element to some of the action, but it's more for emphasis than a lack of creativity or ability. So it works for me. Beating up Bolt and Scrappy is one thing, but it feels like Viking makes a bigger statement with his utter destruction of a fellow big man. Who else can lift Mark Muscle, much less hold him in a suspended choke three times?

Hm, now I'm wondering if money is flying in from sponsors for a custom video takedown of Viking? What's the big man's price to suffer a beatdown from Bolt and Scrappy? Take out the knees then double team him. Double rack. Get him on his knees then a sleeper plus gut punching. I could believe that. There you go, I've started it, now someone else can pay for it. :)

Viking: "You just make it too easy, buddy."

Viking: "Just another waste of time.
Just like the rest of them."

Viking: "That's what I'm talking about, Mark.
You're not on my level. No one here is."

Viking: "Just because I can. One. Two. Three."

In the end, I really enjoyed watching this. It's definitely sexy to see Mark Muscle dominated by big man power, as opposed to pretense. Viking is a blast, while Mark has become a good seller of pain. I can see fans of bigger guy beatdowns absolutely loving this. Now it seems like the question is, who's next for Viking? I don't know, but I do know that I'm all-in to find out.

So that's my take. What's yours?



  1. Been hovering on the buy button for couple days...thanks for helping me finally push it. :)