Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Review: Blayne vs. Frey/Viking (Thunders Arena)

Blayne: "You're gonna be lucky if I don't make you kiss by the end of the match. I'll show you real competition."

Don't get too excited. Blayne does not make Frey and Viking kiss. However, this quote sets the tone for this Thunders Arena fan fantasy beatdown that is more what I expected it to be. It has a clear direction and executes it brilliantly. If you think that you're interested in this video, I think you'll love it. Matches like this can be cheesy, but literally everything works perfectly in Blayne vs. Frey/Viking.

I was asked by a couple of folks to review this, but I'm not writing this out of obligation or for the purpose of fan service. No, it's my pleasure to talk about Blayne vs. Frey/Viking.

Everything's coming up Blayne as the best seller
brings the musclemen to their knees.

I feel like I should spend some time on the wrestlers, but you know all these guys. It's mostly the same. You've got hairy, sculpted and sweaty Blayne in his standard floral posers bursting with confidence and attitude. The only man to win two wrestler Caveys in the same year (rookie + jobber) is trying to step up to fave overall wrestler. Keep it up, dude.

Powerful Frey is absolutely rocking a shiny red and blue poser. The last commission I saw him in was when he destroyed Steel. I guess the custom video gods both giveth dominance and they taketh away dominance. I love that he's still very Frey in this, arrogant and a fighter. No lying down for this guy, even when the script calls for it.

Speaking of gods, 6'6"/260-lbs Viking’s got a floppy silver necklace with a cross on it. Not sure if they're filming a Halloween Havoc later and he’ll be facing a vampire, but it stood out. He’s never worn it before that I've noticed. You don't often see jewelry, because it can get in the way. It's a shiny object, which can be distracting for some of us, but mostly it seems a little inconvenient. Maybe the commissioner wanted to see some bling.

It's a triple serving of hot hunks.

Blayne's pumped to overpower these two beasts.

Go on and fluff that pouch, superstar, you earned it.

Fuddy duddies and people who hate fun might not be able to handle this match, but my disbelief is pretty much locked in a permanent state of suspended animation. And it's not hard here, thanks to the performances, the production and the action.

The drama is set up nicely at the start. Frey and Viking are going to have a fun warmup match. Blayne asks to join in, but gets mocked for his size (Viking calls him 5’4”, but Blayne corrects him as 5’8”) and dismissed because of his less than stellar record. He reminds them that he's Thunders’ number one bestseller. “Yeah,” the guys laugh, “because you lose all the time.” They only want to wrestle real competition.

Simple, fast and clear. From this point on, everything’s coming up Blayne. Like a mother flipping over a car to save her baby, the hairy hunk develops super-strength and “shows them what 5’8” can do.” Blayne’s a good talker, expressing a perfect combination of rage and arrogance. The two jobbers sell everything like pros. Viking’s necklace can't save him, but one of the best parts is that Frey and Viking never stop fighting. They try to counter many holds, but they're simply no match for Blayne’s superior skill, smarts and power.

Yes, I can accept Blayne overpowering both
these muscle hunks at once.

A Thunders' signature move reimagined.

No wonder Blayne's pecs are so perfect.

I have to give the everyone credit for the action. This isn't a ‘take turns’ exercise where Blayne wrecks one guy while the other one lies there waiting for his turn. No, Blayne actually destroys both guys at once. Double bow and arrow, bulldogs, headlocks, crab, camel, hammerlock, etc. The hairy hunk handles both these musclemen like a pro with a plan. It moves smoothly and seamlessly as he positions the devastated musclemen then tortures them mercilessly.

It's all really creative and the camerawork is really good. They do a number of holds from a couple of angles, so you get different views. The test of strength is perfect for this. There's even a clever special effect so Blayne can stand on Frey's back (while Frey is on his hands and knees), using the superstar as a step stool to power Viking into a suspended chokelift. Smart. It sure feels like a lot of thought and planning went into this entire video.

Maybe it's the body hair?
My fave rookie of 2017 is kicking ass!

Frey and Viking never stop fighting,
but Blayne is just too much man for them.

Yes, I actually wrote that my fave jobber of 2017
is too much man. Embrace the madness.

In the end, this video could not have been executed better. If you're interested in it, I can't imagine you'd be disappointed. It's clever, entertaining and perfectly produced to make you believe that Blayne can whip their asses. The guys buy into the premise completely, making this a video that is exactly as advertised, but even better than I expected. Huge thanks to wrestlers, the cameraman, and the commissioner.

So that's my take. What's yours?

Alex

2 comments:

  1. Thank you for considering our requests and writing an honest review! Very accurate and not written in an obligatory manner! This is why we love you!

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    1. Aw, thanks. It's a great one, so I definitely enjoyed writing about it.

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