Wednesday, April 18, 2018

One-Hit Wonders Part 1

At BGEast, there's an interesting (and I'll argue unique) phenomenon. The one-hit wonder (1HW). I'll stress the ‘wonder’ part. I'm not writing about a guy who appears in only one video, but a guy who makes an impact on you in only one video. Big difference. A true 1HW is a guy you remember and really like, but then he never re-appears.

Baby come back!
(That's Vasily Volkov, a recent 1HW.)

I honestly can't think of anyone at other places who fits my 1HW definition. Sure, Thunders Arena had Tanked, but my main interest in him was that he shares the same stats as Ryan from my Cave series, so it gave me a perspective on size. There's Twist. Who? And I didn't buy White Tiger’s one match, only knowing him as part of the David Lynch-style randomness of Steel vs. Eagle (reviewed here).

White Tiger went nowhere.

This is how common and impactful BGE 1HWs are. I was able to quickly identify a whopping ten of them off the top of my head. And that doesn't include a few who were actually two- or three-hit wonders (2HW or 3HW). I said I wanted to think of new topics beyond reviews and this seemed like a good one once I got into it and it was so easy.

Four of my ten 1HWs I've highlighted before. You've got Hal Foster and Randy Wilkins from Hunkbash 3 (reviewed here). More recently, there's Vasily Volkov, who appeared in catalogue 110 (reviewed here). He might actually re-appear, but we're at catalogue 126 and there's no sign of him, yet. And I thought of hot daddy Matt Thrasher (reviewed here). However, he's all over Muscle Domination Wrestling, so I decided that he shouldn't count.

Hal Foster + Randy Wilkins appeared once together.

Matt Thrasher is only a 1HW technically.

And then there's the strange case of hairy ginger Ace Phillips. You might think the 6’1”/220-lbs slab of beef is a sexy 1HW. I did. Then I remembered that a hero named Archangel Ace only appeared in one video, too. Great, that makes eleven 1HWs. However, after using the latest algorithms and analysis powered by the most advanced computers in The Cave, I have come to the startling realization that there's a 96.2% chance that they're the same person! GASP! I know I've never seen them in the same place at the same time. Have you?

Ace Phillips and Archangel Ace

Imagine that. A sneaky 2HW trying to get into my 1HW post on a technicality. Not very heroic, Ace, but I can't be mad at you. You're hot and you were captured by The Black Spider, which obviously prevented you from coming back. Sorry about your luck.

Eventually, I was left with five legit 1HW studs that I'll spotlight over two posts.

First up, two guys that appeared against the same opponent. A guy who's a 24HW. The amazing Mike Columbo. Is Mike the reason they only did one video? Were they friends doing him a solid? Was it a tryout? Was he too much man for them? Was he terrible to work with? I doubt that last one, because I don't think that you get to do 24 videos if you're not a total pro in the ring.

Still, it is an interesting coincidence to me. And part of a compelling 1HW post is making up a reason for their disappearance. I'll never know the truth, but that won't stop me from speculating. Of course, I'd never blame Mike or believe he has anything do with their vanishing act, but I’ll share my theories, just because I can …

Jimmy Diamond: Demolition 6

Jimmy's BGEast profile pic.

Jimmy is so fucking hot. He looks like a sweet, innocent muscleboy in his profile pic, but is 100% muscleman on video. I've watched this one-sided destruction many times, which might explain why the VHS quality didn't hold up. Pulling stills from this was not easy. Yikes. Now, if someone told me that Jimmy quit because he legitimately hurt his knee, I'd believe it. Mike is ruthless and relentless with the leg attack.

As hot as Jimmy is, it's those tight shiny blue trunks that I remember most, certainly more than his name. I remember ‘Jimmy’, because it suits him, but not Diamond. I'll even admit that I instinctively went to Jimmy Gee’s profile, even though I know exactly who 5HW Jimmy Gee is. Anyway, Jimmy Diamond had the looks, the body and the trunks of a star. But, alas, he never came back, so all we’re left with is a wonderful squash.

1HW Speculation: Injury. That's my uneducated guess. Maybe physical. Maybe psychological. But I'll guess that he just couldn't continue after this brutal beatdown.

Mike overwhelmed the newest pretty boy.

Jimmy seemed like a great new muscle jobber.

Jimmy's blue (da ba dee).

Benji Conlin: Undagear 11

Benji's BGEast profile pic.

Another Mike Columbo one-and-done guy. I'll go out on a limb and say that Benji is less classically good looking than muscleman Jimmy, but I love his lean and luscious looks. He's like The CW version of a bad guy. Intense and scruffy, he looks just dangerous enough to be sexy without being scary.

This video is awesome because of the way the story plays out. Veteran Mike Columbo teaches the rookie a lesson, kicking his ass then stripping him to a g-string. Then, Benji shows off his bad boy side. The action is memorably hot. Unfortunately, Benji never got a follow up, but I think he could've done a great job crushing a few jobbers.

1HW Speculation: Family. Filming ran long and bad boy Benji had to hop into his minivan to pick up the kids from daycare. Dangerous daycare, that is.

Mike manhandles the rookie.

Mike knows how a pinball feels.

Benji overpowers the veteran stud.

Just the right amount of wrong.

So those are a couple of my fave one-hit wonders. As I said, I've got a few more coming next month, but you should consider checking these guys out. Jimmy’s match is a total muscleman squash in perfect blue trunks. Benji’s is more competitive with hot butts hanging out. I think Mike’s always great, so it’s a safe way to check out an unknown quantity.

Alex

9 comments:

  1. THANK YOU for remembering Benji Conlin!!! ALWAYS wanted to see more from him, and always wondered where he went and why . . . . he had the stuff he needed to go far! :-(

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    1. You are welcome! It’s a mystery. Maybe spitting on Mike Columbo was a career-limiting move?

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  2. My favorite 1HW was Gary Myers
    https://www.bgeast.com/catalog.php?pid=265&match=3

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    1. Thanks for the tip. He faces Jose, so I’m sold. I’ll do a future version with reader suggestions. So far I’ve got Glen Marble and now Gary Myers.

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  3. Jimmy Diamond was a great 1HW, perfect babyface gear too. I like my jobbers young and lean so my personal favorite from Demolition 6 is Greg Michaels vs Josh Avery. Some may find the match too one sided but I love it.

    Here's three of my favorite 1HW's:
    Ron Holloway - https://www.bgeast.com/catalog.php?pid=30&match=2
    Tommy Troup - https://www.bgeast.com/catalog.php?pid=1180&match=1
    Conor McGlynn - https://www.bgeast.com/catalog.php?pid=1102&match=1

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    1. Wow, thanks. Three more guys. At first, I thought you were saying that Greg or Josh were 1HWs, but I have more than one match for each of them. Now I get it. I'll look these guys up!

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  4. I realise I like a lot of guys with 2 matches, like Steev Steel, but Mack O'Malley from BGeast Submissions 5 is definitely one of my favourite 1HWs. He immediately caught my attention while scrolling through VODs.
    It's got multiple submissions which are perfect for 1HWs. You get a little bit of everything

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    1. Thanks for another suggestion. Wow, more 1HWs than I thought.

      Coincidentally enough, I only remembered Steev's match with Aryx and thought of him as a 1HW only to see that pesky second match.

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