The Cave Undercard 30: Mimik vs. SuperSoldier

The Cave Backstage.

“Seriously, Cody? Ryan’s really not coming?”

I sigh, “No Jae, he’s really not. Ry doesn’t want to watch two of his men battle it out. He’s protesting the whole idea. You're sure you don’t mind working camera duty with Pete?”

“No, not at all. I'm really getting the hang of it. You and Pete might be arch-enemies but I get along fine with the guy most of the time.” I make a face and my boyfriend laughs, “Save it. I’ve heard it all and we don’t have time."

"I know. Blockbuster/Valet ran long so we've got to get going. Are they even gone, yet? I didn't see them leave." (Read it here - The Cave Undercard 29: Blockbuster vs. Valet)

Jae shrugs, "No idea. Anyway, I just really thought Ryan would change his mind. If for no other reason than to keep the guys from getting out of hand.” He sighs, “I hope he’s not mad at you for putting the match on.”

I shrug, “Ry’s in no position to be mad at me. He’s the one who always preaches that The Cave is a business and personal feelings don’t matter. Well, hot musclemen battling in the ring is our business. Even if he’s dating both of them.”

“And he’s friends with benefits with one of the cameramen. Pete’s gonna love watching Corey and Luke tear each other apart.”

I laugh, “Yeah, you and I might need to play cop with the three of them all together.”

“Easier said than done with Pete in the mix. I don’t think either of us stand much of a chance of handling him.”

“I know. I didn’t think about it. Too bad Beau, Buck, Brody and Ram are all headed to that concert tonight. If things get out of hand, they would’ve been great backup. I wonder if it’s too late to get Josh and Darius to swing by? Josh likes watching the matches with me.”

“Josh? You think JOSH will help control things? He’d probably instigate the fight then sit back and laugh his ass off.”

“Yeah, that is so Josh. Okay, well, it’s 400-lbs of us and over 700-lbs of Ry’s harem.” I breathe in deeply, “Nothing is going to happen because all three of them know I’ll be reporting back to Ry and it’s all on camera. They’ll keep it professional.” I add, “I’m sure.”

“Are you really?”

“No.”

The Wrestlers.

In the small black arena, Pete and Jae work ringside, adjusting the lighting, testing their cameras and coordinating who’s focusing on which wrestler and side of the ring. That leaves me backstage handling the guys. First, I check on Corey, the 19-year old muscleboy who plays the heel-villain Mimik. His whole gimmick is copying his opponent's gimmick, so he’s pulling on USA gear.

I’ll give the obnoxious punk credit. He always looks amazing. Of Ry’s three regulars, Corey’s the most comfortable with the current situation. He’s too young and too slutty to need to get serious. And it’s the perfect arrangement for Ry, too. All sex and fun, no commitments. It’s an intense physical connection, although it seems to be growing beyond that a little.

“So, you ready, Corey?”

“I’m always ready, Cody. You should know that. Ry show up, yet?”

The teen muscle punk only recently started calling my best friend Ry because I do. He thinks the implication that we’re equally important to my best friend will bug me. It doesn’t because I know that no one is as important to Ry as I am. Certainly none of his side pieces. I let him know, “No, Ry’s really not coming. He’s still not happy about this match.”

Corey shrugs nonchalantly, “Well, that’s between Ry and Luke. I have nothing to do with it and Ry knows it. It’s like Luke wants Ry to dump him.”

“You’d love that.”

The teen muscle punk smirks, “Please, I don’t care. Luke’s never getting what he wants from Ry. He’s got less of a chance than Pete, if that’s possible. Don’t disagree. You know it, too. That’s why you’ve jumped off the Team Luke bandwagon and pushed so hard for Buck. Since he’s not interested, who’s next? Poor broken Beau, the sad cowboy?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Ry’s free to make his own choices. Don’t let your paranoia distract you in the ring as much as it’s obviously distracting you outside of it.”

Corey smirks, “I like you, Cody, even if you don’t like me. Now, run along. You’ve done your job. Let me finish getting ready in peace. Like you said, I shouldn’t be distracted.”

While Corey is chill about everything, this match is being driven by Luke. He’s definitely not chill about things. As Super Soldier, he’s our Captain America analogue. As Luke, he’s a military guy who’s really connecting with Ry emotionally. I know he wants more from my best friend but he’s not getting it. I don’t know how much longer he’ll stick around as one-of-three but for now, he believes Ry is worth the wait.

And while I’m talking about my best friend’s love life, I should probably include Pete. Ugh, Pete. He hates me because he’s jealous of my relationship with Ry. They really bonded after I’d done some truly heinous things to my best friend. I was lucky Ry forgave me but Pete was there stirring the pot the whole time and still is. And, no matter what I do, he will never like me because he resents being Ry’s second-best friend.

Pete and Ry are just friends with benefits. They connect mentally, sharing a ton of interests. Pete’s nasty and rude which some people mistakenly think is funny and entertaining. It’s not. While Pete would love for Corey and Luke to go away, I know that wouldn’t change anything because Ry's put him in the bitchy friend zone permanently. Jae feels sorry for Pete but Ry assures me he’s been completely upfront about his feelings.

So, my buddy has one guy for his dick, one for his heart and one for his head. Messy. I'm lucky I found Jae, one guy who satisfies all of me.

When I check on Luke, he’s pacing. He looks great in his USA gear. Of Ry’s three men, he’s the only one I can stand. That’s why I wish he hadn’t done this. However, I get his point. Corey’s been playing games, screwing with Luke’s time with Ry. The selfish, manipulative teen has seemingly targeted Luke and his machinations just got to be too much for Luke to accept.

“If Ryan wants to break up over this then we’re never going anywhere anyway, Cody. He said he needs time and I’m giving him time. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to get rolled by some arrogant little punk ass bitch like Corey.”

“I know. I understand. You just have to keep in mind that Ry’s still new to -”

“Stop, Cody. I know. Ryan’s explained. You’ve explained. I know his history and that he needs to be free right now. That’s why I’m putting up with him screwing Corey and Pete. But he also said that he wants to settle down. I like him, Cody. We connected the minute we met at the gym. Our talks are great and the sex is even better. I think we could be great together but if I try to contain him now, I know that he’ll break free later. I get it.”

“But it doesn’t make it any easier.”

Luke sighs, “No, it doesn’t. But this will. Fighting Corey will make things a helluva lot easier. He’s gonna learn that if he messes with me, it means pain for him. And if there’s a next time? I won’t kick his ass in the ring. I’ll kick it in the parking lot.”

“Well, good luck.”

“I know you mean that, so thanks, Cody.”

Round One.

Mimik holds up his hand, “I think we need to let fans know. They need to know that this? This is a certified grudge match.”

“Shut up and wrestle me.”

“No, no, no. They need to know that American Idiot here challenged me to this fight because we’re both seeing the same guy – it’s Bane, for those of you who are curious – and that you’re a jealous little bitch because you’re his second – maybe third – choice. How many times has he cancelled on you for me?”

“Fuck you. This isn’t about R – him. This ass-kicking I’m about to give you is all about you. Bane’s never cancelled on me. He's only missed our dates because you've made that happen. And he's made it up with mind-blowing sex, by the way. So, you’re a scheming punk and hell yeah, it’s a fucking grudge match. I’m going to teach you a lesson about messing with me.”

Mimik says, “Oh, and just for more fun? The cameraman there,” He points at Pete’s camera, “is Bane's bottom's bitch. He’s a distant third choice but he’s in the mix. Kind of. The Bat calls us the harem. He’s over there in the shadows. Wave to the fans, Bat!”

Fortunately, neither camera points my way. I decide that enough is enough. I ring the bell.

DING! DING! DING!

As soon as I do, the two ripped studs move out of their corners. Even just bouncing, Mimik’s a cocky little shit. Super Soldier lifts his arms for a lockup but the teen heel dives low. The hero is ready, lifting his knee right into the villain’s chin. CRACK! The force sends the young punk flying backwards onto his ass. PLOP! He tests his jaw and nods with grudging respect.

Super Soldier moves in. The villain tries a kick but once again, the hero is ready. He grabs hold of the teen muscleboy’s boot, lifts then kicks the stretched hamstring. WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! Mimik pulls free and scrambles backwards to his corner like a crab. He reaches high and grabs the top rope to pull himself up. I can tell he’s unhappy with how things have started.

The muscular hero is already running in. Mimik lifts his boots but once again, Super Soldier is a step ahead of him. He grabs the boots and pulls them out, locking them under his armpits. As the villain hangs between the corner and the all-American muscleman, I smile. So far at The Cave, the hero has primarily been a jobber. A tough jobber but a jobber, nonetheless. I bet the teen punk expected an easier time.

Super Soldier runs backwards, pulling Mimik from the corner. The muscleboy heel’s upper body falls, hitting the canvas hard on the back of his head and shoulders. WHAM! The hero adjusts his grip then puts his feet under the villain. He falls back and slingshots the helpless bad boy up and across the ring. Mimik flies until he slams into the corner. CLANG!

Mimik hits face first and rises fast. He’s clearly wobbly, trying to keep his feet. He staggers back, his arms flailing wildly. Super Soldier is already up. He comes in behind the young punk, grabbing him around the waist. With a quick lift and throw, the muscleboy heel flies up and over in a German suplex. BOOM! Mimik’s legs go up and pause then he collapses in a heap before sprawling out on his stomach.

The teen powerhouse’s boots lift up and down meekly as he moans. Super Soldier comes in fast, leaping up and coming down with a leg drop to the back of Mimik’s head. CRACK! The hero rolls Mimik over then lies on top of him. He slaps the mat.

“ONE!”

“TWO!”

At the last minute, the muscleboy heel kicks out. UNF! Super Soldier drags Mimik up by his hair. The teen punk is looking pretty weak right about now. The hero scoops him up across his chest, holding him up with a firm grip on the villain’s shoulder and firm round ass cheek. When he’s in the center of the ring, the handsome muscleman bodyslams the young stud down hard. BOOM!

Super Soldier immediately leaps in the air then comes down with a knee drop to Mimik’s broad back. WHACK! He pauses to flex for the camera then rises and unleashes some boots. STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! The teen musclepunk bounces with every big boot, the relentless abuse taking its toll. He was so sure this was going to be easy that he seems unprepared.

The hero reaches down and grabs another handful of hair. As he drags Mimik up, the villain lifts his knee right into Super Soldier’s red, white and blue pouch. SQUISH! As the shocked muscleman bends forward, grabbing his bulge and sticking his ass out, the villain slaps him hard across the face. SMACK! The mocking move spins the hero right around. The heel lifts his boot and plants it on Super Soldier's ass. he pushes, sending the muscleman to the ropes.

"I literally just kicked your ass, American Idiot."

As Super Soldier rubs his balls, Mimik looks around, sizing up the ring for some reason. He pushes Super Soldier hard against the ropes. He whips the hero across the ring but because he wasted time, the muscleman is able to reverse the teen punk’s momentum and send him into the opposite ropes. Instead of bouncing off, Mimik manages to grab onto the top rope.

The cocky heel shifts to the left in front of Pete’s camera and says, “Make sure you get a good shot of my ass.”

Super Soldier uses Mimik’s lack of focus to run back into the ropes. He bounces off and charges. When he gets close, the hero dives at the muscleboy’s rock-hard abs. Mimik is able to dodge, letting flying muscleman hurl himself through the ropes right into Pete! CRASH! The cameraman was filming the muscleboy’s ass, as requested, so his view was obstructed and his focus elsewhere. Even though he’s 300-lbs, the surprise collision sends both men down to the floor. SPLAT! Damn, I think the villain might’ve actually planned that whole sequence just for fun.

Mimik uses the top rope to launch himself over, flying high in the air before splashing down on the hero’s back. WHAM! The impact knocks the wind out of the muscleman, but the cameraman underneath him gets the worst of it as 400-lbs of sweaty muscle lies on top of him. The teen muscleboy drags Super Soldier up then walks him to the ring by his hair.

The villain slams Super Soldier’s handsome face into the ring apron. WHACK! He uses the hero’s trunks to lift him onto the ring and push him under the bottom rope. The muscleman’s ass hangs out of the wedged trunks as he rolls to the middle of the ring. As Mimik follows, Pete is rising. He leaves his camera on the floor and looks pissed as fuck. Damn, trouble already? It's still just the first round.

I stand up to head to the ring but I don’t need to. I see Jae snap his fingers and point at the camera. Pete snarls but Jae points even more firmly. The super-sized beast looks like he might explode as he looks at the ring, wanting to take both men down so bad. He finally picks up the camera and gets back to work. Good job, my love, keeping the big man focused. Phew!

Meanwhile, back in the ring, Mimik is driving his boot down on top of Luke. STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! He drags the ailing Super Soldier up then whips him into the ropes towards Pete. Deliberately, I am sure. Pete reaches up and pulls down the top rope. Super Soldier hits the ropes and flies over the top rope, doing a full flip. Somehow, he manages to do a 360, land upright on his feet and stick the landing. PLOP! Hm, impressive.

Super Soldier is about to say something but Pete just spins and clotheslines him down. WHOMP! Okay, what the fuck? The hero goes down hard. Mimik laughs in the ring. Pete turns, “Don’t think I’ve forgotten about you. But one asshole at a time.” The big behemoth drags Luke up then pushes him into the ring. He resumes filming as though nothing happened.

Mimik laughs, “You done being clumsy, American Idiot?”

The teen muscleboy drags Super Soldier up to his hands and knees. He moves in to lock on a standing head scissors. It is his signature move, as he has two of the most powerful legs in The Cave. Pound for pound, nobody’s legs are more devastating. Unfortunately for him, when you have a signature move, guys prepare counters for it.

Sure enough, before Mimik can lock it on, Super Soldier grabs his boots and trips him backwards onto his ass. PLOP! He jumps over, flipping and bridging as he holds Mimik in a pinning cradle.

“ONE!” Mimik kicks his feet to escape but the hero has him locked in.

“TWO!” The teen muscleboy throws his arms up and hits Super Soldier’s torso.

“THREE!” It doesn’t work as the heel’s shoulders stay down and he’s pinned.

The hero rolls off and onto his knees. The shocked muscleboy rolls over and looks at me. I give him the bad news. Legit pin. He turns to Pete who gives him a middle finger and Jae who nods that it was a pin. The teen heel holds up his hands and graciously accepts our verdict. He always says he doesn’t care about winning and losing but this time, I think he did.

Round Two.

The break is tense.

Jae speaks to Pete. I stay out of it, knowing that I’ll just make things worse given his jealousy and irrational dislike towards me. I focus on the ring combatants, making sure they’re okay. They are. Pete defends himself to my boyfriend but Jae’s not having any of it. As a personal trainer and former college football player, he’s dealt with obstinate big guys before. The behemoth finally calms down.

As the clock winds down, Pete warns the wrestlers, “Either of you touch me again and I’ll kick your ass.”

Super Soldier says, “Same to you, asshole.”

Pete reminds him, “We both know how that goes.” (If your don't, you can read Pete vs. Luke here - AMU150: And Then There Were Studs)

Mimik keeps quiet, his devious mind working overtime as his rivals snipe at one another.

DING! DING! DING!

The wrestlers move out and lock up quickly and, shockingly, cleanly. They struggle, their muscles straining. Super Soldier is stronger, pushing the muscleboy backwards. Mimik shifts and gets his feet under him, stopping his reverse momentum. He twists fast to the left, causing the hero to stumble right into a rising knee to the pecs. WHOMP!

Mimik grabs Super Soldier around the waist then lifts and drops him over his leg in a gutbuster. THUD! OOF! The cocky teen keeps the muscleman over his leg then yanks up his red, white and blue trunks into a wedgie. He spanks the smooth white ass. SLAP! The hero lets out a yelp then pushes himself off, rolling away. He looks at the playful teen with a scowl.

Super Soldier rises then reaches back to pull the wedgie from his ass. Big mistake. Mimik takes full advantage, lifting his boot into the hero’s abs. Unfortunately for him, the muscleman was only pretending to unwedge his trunks, suckering him in. He steps back and grabs the boot before it can connect. Super Soldier spins for a leg-drag takedown, sending the teen rolling and skidding across the ring.

With the teen punk safely out of range, the hero adjusts the back of his trunks (much to our fans’ dismay, I’m guessing). He moves in as Mimik rises. They move lock up again but the muscleboy unleashes a slap to the face. SMACK! He follows up with a boot up between the hero’s legs. SQUISH! Mimik grabs Super Soldier by the hair then pulls back hard, flipping him over onto the back of his head. CRACK!

Mimik unleashes a series of big boots to capitalize on his dominance. STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! He stops then grabs Super Soldier’s boots, lifting them up. The teen punk drops down, driving his knee into the red, white and blue bulge. SQUISH! FUCK! The cocky muscleboy starts firing fists into the chiseled abs. THUD! THUD! THUD! He rises confidently, giving one more boot to the lower abs. STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!

The hero rolls onto his side then onto his hands and knees. Mimik leaps up then drives his ass down onto the muscleman’s lower back. WHAM! The force sends him sprawling back down. The villain reaches down and grabs a handful of hair. He forces Super Soldier up to his feet. As he moves to scoop the bigger man up across his chest, the teen muscleboy gets pushed away.

Mimik moves back in, only to run into a fist to his abs. THUD! Super Soldier follows through with a series of fists that drive the teen punk back into the corner. THUD! POW! THUD! The hero relentlessly pounds away on the chiseled midsection. POW! THUD! POW! Mimik gets his leg up and uses it to force Super Soldier back.

The muscleboy heel drops down and slides out of the ring. He inspects his abused body. The hero orders him back in and gets a middle finger in response. Super Soldier suddenly leaps over the top rope and lands on the floor. Realizing the danger, Mimik takes off. He runs around the corner but the hero pursues him, wanting to keep the action going.

Mimik runs around the ring with Super Soldier in hot pursuit. He slides under the bottom rope, gliding then running right towards Pete’s side. Oh fuck, not again. Sure enough, the hero follows fast. Mimik turns and lowers his shoulder. The muscleman is running too fast. He can’t slow down, allowing the teen heel to lift him up and over the top rope with a back-body drop.

Super Soldier flies over the top rope, flipping around. Pete sees him coming and moves out of the way, leaving Super Soldier to land hard on his shoulder on the padded floor. BAM! Pete looks up at Mimik, “Missed me that time.” The teen punk ignores him, instead jumping to the floor below. He drives his boot down onto Super Soldier’s shoulder. STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!

Mimik says, “What do you say, hero? Winner gets Bane?” STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! “Everyone knows that he’s going to pick one of us in the end.” STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!

I can see Pete’s knuckles turning white as he grips the camera incredibly tightly. Mimik drags Super Soldier up then locks on a hammerlock. He pushes the hero into the metal ringpost shoulder first. CLANG! Super Soldier bounces back, his arm drooping. The muscleboy grabs his wrist then executes a textbook perfect arm drag takedown followed by a leg drop to the bicep. SPLAT!

The teen punk rises and flexes, “We all know that Bane is into young muscle. I’m younger and I’ve got better muscles.” Pete audibly growls, so Mimik looks over, "Yeah, some guys just can't see the truth."

The hero is up. He charges at Mimik from behind but he’s too slow. The villain smoothly steps to the right then pushes on the muscular back as Super Soldier passes. The muscleman flies right into Pete. SMACK! The big man barely moves. Mimik is in the air with a textbook dropkick, sending Super Soldier crashing right back into the behemoth. BONK! As the 215-lbs military muscleman falls to the floor, Pete tosses our very expensive camera aside. Fuck him! It better not be broken.

Mimik steps back, letting nature take its course. Pete goes after the closest muscleman, which happens to the hero. The big bearded bear locks Super Soldier in a bearhug then shakes him violently. I move in low to check on the camera as Jae looks at me. I signal to just keep rolling. No point in doing anything but film. Pete keeps whipping the hero around as the cocky muscleboy hops onto the apron, cross his legs and leans back against the middle rope with his arms stretched out.

I pick up the camera and am relieved it’s working. I start filming as Pete tosses the limp Super Soldier to the floor. SPLAT! He drags him up then locks on a kiss of death sleeper. The hero fights but Mimik slides in behind him and grabs his wrists. He pulls his arms back, preventing any attempt at escape. The muscleman squirms and struggles but it’s too little and too late.

Super Soldier goes out. He gets dropped to the floor, where he lies in a heap.

Pete looks at smirking teen, “Now, it’s your turn.”

Corey vs. Pete.

Mimik moves back and hops up so he’s back sitting on the ring apron. He seems surprisingly calm. “How about you put him in the ring for me, big guy?”

“How about I knock you out and claim Bane for myself, little boy?”

“Hm, I don’t think so.” Mimik raises his legs in a defensive posture.

“Those toothpicks aren’t going to save you from me!”

“Toothpicks? Maybe Valet but no way is Moneymaker a toothpick.”

Pete freezes. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice that muscleman Moneymaker and his twink henchman Valet have snuck into the arena. I was so focused on filming the action, I missed them. So did Pete. They leap up and execute a perfectly-timed simultaneous dropkick. The big bodybuilder villain goes high and his henchman goes low. WHOMP! The force sends the surprised big man flying forward where he crashes into the ring apron. OOF!

The big behemoth steps back holding his gut. Mimik grabs his head then slams it down onto the ring apron. CRACK! Pete’s head snaps back and up as Mimik climbs onto the apron and grabs the top rope for support. He lifts his legs up onto Pete’s broad shoulders then wraps them around in a figure-four head scissors. The legs flex, swelling up as Mimik uses his full power.

Pete tries to step back to pull Mimik off the ropes but Moneymaker and Valet kick the back of his knees. WHACK! BAM! Big man’s legs collapse and he drops into a kneeling position. They grab his arms, pull them back and brace themselves by each putting a boot on his back. The behemoth roars but he’s losing consciousness fast. He angrily squirms and fights to escape.

Give him credit, Pete doesn't quit. He manages to move Valet, overpowering him. As his arm flies free, it falls limp. That last gasp was all he had as the head scissors takes effect, sapping his strength and power. Moneymaker lets go and his other arm falls limp. The 300-lbs beast isn’t such a monster now as he kneels weakly in Mimik’s powerful legs.

The teen punk laughs, “I told you up on Howard Hill that I could knock you out with my legs.” (Read when here - AMU150: And Then There Were Studs)

Moneymaker smirks, “Don’t put him out all the way. We’ve got a score to settle.” (Read why here - The Cave Unleashed 9)

Valet points at Super Soldier, “What about this loser?”

Mimik opens his legs, letting the big beast collapse onto his side. Pete topples to the floor, moaning and nearly unconscious. SPLAT! The teen muscleboy nods, “Yeah, I guess things should continue. I wouldn’t want to deny the fans a full match.”

Moneymaker and Valet drag Super Soldier up and push him into the ring for their partner-in-crime to finish off. Meanwhile, they look at the helpless Pete and rubs their hands together.

This grudge match suddenly has more grudges than I expected.

Pete vs. Moneymaker and Valet.

The twink henchman says, “No fun if he’s asleep.”

“Then let’s wake him up.”

They roll Pete onto his back then each lift a leg. They pull hard, opening his legs and stretching his groin. The force shocks the big behemoth up. ARGH! He rolls onto his side, holding the inside of his groin. Pete curses and threatens to kill both of them. They laugh. Moneymaker attacks the big beast’s knees, driving his boot onto them. STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!

Pete rolls over to escape but Valet comes in with a baseball slide, slamming his boots into the side of his head. WHACK! The behemoth’s head flies to the side and he drops down. He moans weakly. Valet sits on his head as Moneymaker powers the suffering monster’s legs up in the air. The bigger villain sits back with a big Boston crab. ARGH!

Normally, I know the behemoth could power out but he’s barely conscious and with Valet’s 150-lbs pressing down on his head, he’s not getting any more awake. Pete taps the floor in submission as his back starts to give. Valet laughs, “Look, he thinks this is a match!” The cocky twink slides off his perch on Pete’s head and grabs the bearded brute’s hair, using it to lift his head, “You can give all you want but we decide when we’re done with you.”

Moneymaker releases the crab then spins around. The two of them power Pete into a camel clutch, locking his mighty arms over the bodybuilder heel’s powerful legs. Valet sits in front of Pete’s raised chest and face. He slides his fingers inside the beast’s cheeks and fish-hooks his mouth. The big beast grunts as the twink henchman pulls his mouth wider and wider.

Pete starts to fight so Moneymaker locks his huge muscular arms around the monster’s head. His bicep flexes hard as the choke weakens the big man again. Valet helps out by smothering Pete’s mouth with his hand while pinching his nose. The behemoth thrashes in the camel before getting weaker and weaker. When he’s released from the sleeper, his head drops down.

The bodybuilder villain doesn’t let go. Valet circles behind and starts removing his shoes and socks. He makes a face, “Oh god, the stench!” He tosses them aside then grabs the bottom of the pants. Moneymaker sits up higher as his young protégé drags the black pants down the barely conscious beast’s thick legs, revealing his white briefs. I did not need to see that.

As Valet rises, he says, “Huh, no skid marks. I’m shocked.”

Moneymaker releases the camel and rises. He and Valet pose over their victim. They grab the bottom of his black sweatshirt and pull it up and off Pete’s upper body. Stripped to his tighty-whiteys, the 300-lbs monster looks remarkably vulnerable. I feel sorry for him. Even a jerk like him doesn’t deserve this kind of underhanded humiliation. Then I remember that if he’d just done his job as cameraman, none of this would be happening and I get over it.

Valet stands on Pete to look Moneymaker in the eye. They kiss then the lightweight bounces on the big man’s back before stepping off. They survey their handiwork with pride.

Corey vs. Luke – Round Two?

Super Soldier is barely awake but trying to rise. Mimik runs in behind him, slamming his boot into the muscular hero’s back. WHACK! The shot sends him flying forward where his face hits the bottom turnbuckle. CRACK! The handsome hunk sags, looking like he might go out again. The teen punk flexes over him proudly.

“Let’s see, where were we before we were so rudely interrupted? Oh , yeah, you were up one-nothing. I sure hope I don’t lose this fall.”

Mimik grabs Super Soldier’s left boot and drags him backwards, away from the corner. He drives his boot down on the thick back muscles. STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! He grabs both of the hero’s boots and pulls him up into a Boston crab. The muscleboy sits back, locking it on. The pain wakes the suffering stud up and he starts moaning loudly.

The villain bounces to increase the pressure. Super Soldier weakly reaches for the ropes (as though that would matter). I get a great shot of his desperate reach but he’s a good foot from the bottom rope. If he was closer, I could push it towards him but he’s not. Mimik Is really amping up the force, getting off on the helpless hunk’s cries.

“Fuck, yeah. The real American hero is on top!”

The teen muscleboy lets go, allowing the hero’s legs to flop back down. He drives his knee down onto the back. WHACK! Mimik turns around and grabs hold of Super Soldier’s wrists. He lifts the arms up and forces the hands forward. His knee digs into the muscleman’s back as he tortures the shoulders. The older stud whimpers in pain, his boots kicking up and down.

Super Soldier won’t give but he needs to wake up and turn this around. Right now, he looks more like a wrestling dummy than a champ. Mimik leans into the hold, threatening to dislocate the thick, muscular shoulders. The hero still won’t give. It’d sound brave but he’s gasping and whimpering, so not that heroic. The teen muscle punk knows he’s in complete control.

Mimik lets go. He dives in with an elbow to the back of Super Soldier’s head. CRACK! The force crushes the helpless hunk’s head between the canvas and the heel pressing down. The villain grabs him by the hair and forces Super Soldier into a seated position. He sits behind him then locks on a leg nelson. ARGH! The hero cries out in pain as the powerful legs collapse his shoulders.

The teen muscle punk locks his boots behind Super Soldier’s head. He controls the wrists and forces the chiseled arms back and up. I can see the hero shaking his head, fighting to focus through the incredible pain. He has no chance of breaking free. Even at his best, he wouldn’t be able to. The muscleboy heel has some of the strongest legs in The Cave. They’re impossibly strong.

Super Soldier, even in his current stupor, realizes it. He admits the truth that we can all see.

“I submit.”

Mimik laughs, “I can’t quite hear you over the action outside the ring. Can you please repeat that?”

“I GIVE! I GIVE!”

“Aw, got it. Let me just unwrap my feet. Damn, my ankles are caught.” The villain stalls as the hero cries out in pain. Finally, Mimik lets him free. “Tie game! Who will win?”

Super Soldier collapses onto his side. He moans loudly. The teen muscleboy flexes over the fallen hero, “I’m the real American stud around here, jobber boy!” He looks at me, “Oh, I guess you on camera means that we don’t have a time-keeper anymore. It’s okay, I have an outstanding internal body clock. Five minutes starts now.”

Corey vs. Luke – Round Three.

Mimik circles the suffering stud, doing one lap. He stops, “Three, two, one. That’s five minutes.”

It’s more like 30 seconds but I let it go. We’re not exactly set up with rules and such. This whole thing is chaos, so why worry about it now. Moneymaker and Valet are working over Pete, edging him towards unconsciousness whenever he starts to fight back. The teen punk looks at me with a smirk, wondering if I intend to say anything. He smiles when he realizes that I don’t.

The muscleboy heel heads back to work. He nudges Super Soldier onto his back. Mimik sits down behind him then uses the hero’s thick black hair to lift his head. The villain slides his bulge underneath then applies a head scissors. He goes slowly but locks it on tightly. His thick thighs swell up and tense as he goes harder and harder. The hero moans in pain and flails.

“God, you’re pathetic and now, everyone knows it. You wanted to teach me a lesson? Well, you succeeded. I learned that you’re a complete chump. No wonder I'm the only one who gets to top Bane.”

Mimik flexes harder and Super Soldier screams in pain. He thrashes around as his head is squeezed. He pounds on the thick thighs that are crushing his skull. With no choice, he desperately taps his submission while crying out that he gives. The cocky punk shakes his head, “Well, that was unsatisfying. I’m sure the fans wanted you to hold out.”

The victorious villain opens his legs but instead of sliding back, he shifts to a figure-four leg scissors. He locks it on. All the American hero can get out is, “NO!” before the legs wrap around his head tightly. They cut off his air and blood supply. He sticks his arm up then it drops to the canvas, limp as a piece of cooked spaghetti. PLOP!

Mimik sits up, keeping the hold locked, "Sorry fans, but I just couldn't make this last any longer." He tests the arm.

“ONE!” PLOP!

“TWO!” PLOP!

“THREE” PLOP!

The muscleboy heel opens his legs and slowly rises. He plants his boot on Super Soldier’s amazing pecs. The winner flexes, “The greatest comeback in Cave history! I am the all-new, all-different, all-better, all-American hero – and he is a true, SuperJobber! And the crowd goes wild!”

Mimik moves around and peels off the loser’s red, white and blue trunks. He tosses them out beside where Moneymaker and Valet are standing over an unconscious Pete. The teen punk drags Super Soldier to the ropes by his wrists then hops out of the ring. He drags him under the bottom rope and onto the ring apron. A shove and the helpless hero falls to the floor. SPLAT!

The three heels stand over their two victims looking ecstatic. Mimik is the only one of the harem left standing. Moneymaker and Valet got revenge on Pete. It’s complete chaos with no real winner. The teen villain takes control of the situation. He directs his partners-in-crime and together, they roll Pete onto his back and lie Super Soldier on top of him in a 69 position.

They loosen the laces on the hero’s boots then position them so they can bind Super Soldier’s boots to Pete’s wrists. They do the same at the other end using the shoelaces from Pete’s discarded shoes. That’ll be fun when it’s time to free them. As one more humiliation, Mimik stretches Pete’s big tighty-whiteys down then up. He lifts the waist band over the back of the unconscious hero’s head, securing Super Soldier’s handsome face deep against Pete’s package.

As the three heels pose for our cameras, Mimik says, “Something is missing. Oh yeah, American Idiot here needs a flag.”

The teen villain grabs Super Soldier’s discarded trunks. He puts them on his finger then shoves them into the unconscious muscleman’s hole. They hang out of the hero’s ass, dangling down over Pete’s face.

“Much better.”

The three heels salute the dangling flag trunks then high-five before heading to the back.

The Aftermath.

“Pete. Are you really okay?” We woke and untied Luke then I paid him and Corey. My boyfriend handled Pete. He’s still tending to the big guy when I get back. At least he’s awake and upright. We know everyone’s story at this point except his. Jae has one question for him. “Why?”

“You’re asking me why, Jae? Ask them. I didn’t do anything.”

“We already know why Luke challenged Corey, why Corey accepted, and how and why Miguel and Val got involved. I don’t understand why you took the bait and disrupted things. You might’ve cost Cody and Ryan a lot of money in wasted pay -“

“Wasted pay for who?”

“Me. Corey. Luke. We’re all still getting paid for today whether it can be sold or not. We’re not the ones who messed it up. You’re just lucky the camera didn’t break when you tossed it.”

Pete snarls at Jae, “Luke attacked me. Corey attacked me. Miguel and his little bitch attacked me. I’m the victim here. And when Ryan understands that, he’s going to finally realize I’ve been right all along. He’s finally going to dump those toxic prettyboys.”

Jae sighs and pauses as he tries to think of a reply.

I hate to kick a man when he’s down, except when it’s Pete. I sarcastically say, “Yeah, I’m sure Ry and Corey won’t fuck while watching this video.”

“Fuck off, Cody.”

I hold up my hands, “Okay. I’m just saying that you flew off the handle, interfered and started the whole downward slide. You know being a cameraman is rough work sometimes.”

“What was I supposed to do? And Corey definitely was working with those two sore losers.”

“Well, duh. He won’t even deny that.” I shake my head, “Face it, Pete, Corey was being Corey. Luke was being Luke. Ry’s not going to care.”

“Of course, you think that, Cody. Ryan will understand my side. This is the end for those two. Right, Jae? You get it, don’t you?”

Jae hesitates, so I jump in. “Look, it doesn’t matter what any of us think. It only matters what Ry thinks. But for me, I don’t see this changing anything except him being disappointed in you. Believe me, as his best friend for 20 years, I know. You’re headed for the doghouse.”

Pete fights the urge to come at me. Instead, he stomps towards the curtain to the back, “I’m gonna shower. You guys can fucking clean up without me.”

I call out, “Which shower room are you going to use? We only got two.” He stops, realizing that showering with either Corey/Miguel/Val or Luke will be uncomfortable. I helpfully suggest, “Since you have to wait and you’re already dirty, how about cleaning up the ring while Jae and I fuck in the office?”

My boyfriend says in a firm voice, “Cody!”

I reply innocently, “What?”

Jae growls, “You know exactly what.” He walks over to Pete and gives him a spontaneous hug. The big man reciprocates. My boyfriend says as they break, “Hang out with us here while WE cleanup. We can talk about the Mandalorian. It’s really good, right?”

Pete says he loves it then immediately starts in with everything that’s wrong with the show. I’m not into Star Trek so I tune him out and start cleaning up.

The End.