Saturday, April 20, 2019

Review: The Assassin vs. Goldenglutes (BGEast)

Masks are a great way to get anonymity, but if you really know someone, I don't think they're that effective. Apparently, I know BGEast's "new" masked wrestler Goldenglutes well enough to see through his disguise very early in this one. But part of the conceit of masked superheroes and wrestlers is that masks are an impervious disguise, so I ignore the obvious clues and go along for the ride. And what a fun ride The Assassin vs. Goldenglutes turns out to be.

The Assassin admires those Golden Glutes.


I can't actually say whether I've seen The Assassin unmasked before or not. So unlike his opponent, he's a complete mystery. He's a lean, sexy and cruel heel who uses trickery to get the upper hand, even though he likely didn't need it. He arrives in the dark wearing devilish red and black trunks, boots and even a cape. He easily takes down the unsuspecting narcissist Goldenglutes.

The lanky heel's first word is a command: "SCREAM!" The masked jobber (Goldenglutes) complies, crying out as he is crushed to an early knockout then an equally fast submission. Damn, what a masked bad ass. Although I guess you don't get a name like The Assassin for being a nice guy, so why am I surprised? He definitely lives up to his name as he goes for the kill against the poor jobber.

Hey, that's not fair!

And that's just mean. Trunks don't belong in mouths.

Oh wait, you're "The Assassin". I get it. Carry on.

Even though I write about masked characters all the time, I seldom do unmasking scenes. There's something really cool about them, but I worry about overuse if every Cave match involves one. That's not a problem for BGEast and there is a sexy unmasking here. One guy goes for the mask early, but it's not until the end that one helpless hunk is stripped of his very wrestling identity and revealed to be none other than ...

... well, by the "end", you might already know before the big reveal (I did), but unmasking is still fun. I'm not going to officially spoil it. I did GIF the unmasking (because it's so hot) and put it at the very end of the review, but I added a little blur to the GIF to keep a little suspense for those who want it. Just don't stare at it and you'll likely be fine. Or better yet, just don't look if you prefer a surprise.

I seem to always pick the dragon sleeper images.

The masks are in play early in this one.

Action-wise, this is a sexy pro-style match. There are well-executed moves and holds as The Assassin dominates, as well as the couple of sweet reversals from the feisty Goldenglutes. It's 26 action-packed minutes. I know this because I had 19 awesome images at one point, including 8 GIFs and 11 JPG's, not including an unblurred unmasking GIF. As usual, I limited myself to a maximum of 10.

I mostly went with the GIF's, so sorry for straining your bandwidth if you're not on wifi. I'll save the other images for some other post, but hope that the ones I chose give you some sense of things.

Some especially sexy moments that really stand out to me include: (1) a kiss of death sleeper with Goldenglutes de-trunked and his formerly golden but now ruby butt out; (2) Goldenglutes tied helplessly in the ropes; and (3) a classic Climb of Shame™ (which fortunately follows Climbus Interruptus™ when it's stopped and turned into (4) a very hot standing headscissors).

Maybe he needs to be called Rubyglutes now?

I sped this Climb of Shame™ up, but I still love it.

A perfect hold for a guy with golden glutes.

In the end, this was a really enjoyable masked match. The Assassin is a classic masked heel, the perfect opponent for the cocky Goldenglutes. They work really well together and share some chemistry. The action is well-done, there's a lot of it and they include the hot unmasking of the destroyed loser, which I loved.

And here's the unmasking GIF, so if you're spoiled, you have no one to blame but yourself.

Who can it be now?

What are other bloggers saying?


So that's my take. What's yours?

Alex

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